One Relationship. Two Truths.

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 15.6K Ratings

🗓️ 17 November 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

She’s reeling from a relationship that brought both deep love and deep betrayal. After discovering that her boyfriend had been lying about the terms of their polyamorous arrangement, she’s left struggling to reconcile the intimacy they shared with the deception that shattered it. Esther helps her understand how to integrate these two truths and the transformative power of honoring both love and pain in the journey toward healing. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected]. Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination. I invite you to sign up and become a free or paid member at estherperel.substack.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hi there.
0:01.0	I'm calling because I'm struggling to make sense of an asteroid of a heartbreak that just left me really at sea
0:10.0	and holding two opposing truths that I just don't know how to fit them into my head at the same time.
0:17.0	I was in a two-year relationship with a man where the connection was like unlike anything I'd ever felt before.
0:24.6	I'd never been loved like that.
0:27.6	It was just magic. He made me feel alive in a way I hadn't known before, just so special and cherished.
0:33.6	And we were Polly and both had primary partners. I've been with my husband for 11 years
0:39.5	and Polly for almost five. And my relationship with this boyfriend was amazing, but it wasn't
0:45.0	perfect. So he told me he and his partner weren't out to their friends and had a don't-ask,
0:49.8	don't-tell arrangement, both of which were things that previously had been hard-nosed for me and made me
0:55.1	super uneasy, and I raised concerns about them all the time.
0:58.1	And he always reassured me and convinced me it was okay.
1:00.7	And I loved him, so I believed him.
1:04.8	But almost two years in, he got backed into a corner by his friends,
1:13.2	and they forced him to admit that he'd been lying to me.
1:15.8	I'm cheating on his other partner the entire time.
1:21.0	She had no idea who I was to him, and he was never Polly.
1:27.1	It was a mind-bending, world-shattering rupture.
1:30.3	It completely upended my sense of reality,
1:34.4	and there had been just so much lying and emotional manipulation, and I was just in shock.
1:36.5	But I couldn't walk away.
1:39.1	I couldn't bear the thought of losing that love,
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 11 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Esther Perel Global Media, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Esther Perel Global Media and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.