Hello, my name is Richard Upright. I'd like to take just a few moments to warn you that the following episode of the

thoroughly immoral podcast novel, One Among The Sleeplesspless is particularly sick and wrong.

I strongly urge you to stop listening now and go and download something more wholesome instead.

This podcast depicts the city of Brighton and Hove,

indeed Britain itself,

as a place where people drive each other insane with loud music, take drugs, and indulge

in deviant sexual practices. I can, hand on heart, say that I have never, never in my whole life

come across anything of the sort except perhaps that time in my third year at school.

Stinky Henderson and a few of his chums invited me into the sixth form common room to play a game of Pass the Orange.

The curious thing was, none of us were permitted to use our hands.

Hello listeners,

nice to see the old trapdoor is still in good working order.

Welcome back to one among the sleepless. One Among the Sleepless, a novel written and performed the podcast by Mike Bennett.

This novel is intended for an adult audience.

Episode 22.

Previously on one among the sleepless, Wayne followed his fantasies upstairs to Lucy's

apartment, only to find himself manacled to a wall with two bulldog clips clamped to his nipples. A short time later, while

his fiancé, Ellen, was being intimate with him, Wayne discovered that all was not well in the trouser department.

To use a popular phrase, he doesn't appear to have any lead in his pencil.

Why? Well, Wayne reckons it may be something to do with what happened in Lucy's flat.

So much so that he wrote her a letter, begging to see her again.

Just one more time, just to talk this problem over and to try to get to the bottom of it.

...