And she introduced me to him and said, Woody, this is John.

He's an actor, too, just like you. And I said, whoa, no, I'm nothing like you, man. You are a real actor. You're like, you're famous and I love you so much. And I just, I'm not, I'm nothing. I do theater around here sometimes. And I just, I'm not, and he's like, hey, man, are you an actor or not? I mean, I want to be, no, are you an actor or not?

I guess. I just, I'm not, and he's like, hey man, are you an actor or not? I mean, I want to, I want

to be, no, are you an actor or not? I guess, yeah, because of course you are. And he said,

if an asshole like me can do it, you can do it.

Once we were spacemen.

I tend to play weird people, usually aliens and robots and things that don't have romance. I once didn't get a job where they were looking for a Nathan Philean type.

Once we were Spaceman.

Once we were Spaceman.

Alan?

Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Once we were Spaceman.

Once I thought I would write one of these beforehand.

And I thought, yes, yes, that's a good idea.

I will have a good joke-filled, prescient, thought-provoking, sensical once we were space, then talk.

Then, at that time, which was a once, I did not.

And here we are. That's it. That's it again. And that just, and that just, it, hmm. What do you think? Like, on a scale of one to, like, three, where was that? Listen, it's inspirational. One of your best? No, but I like where they go. Would you give it a three? Easily.

This is that, listen, I was thinking three and a quarter. It's a soft six. It's a soft six, man. Oh, I hate it when my six is soft. That's not, actually, we're going to cut that. We got to cut that because that suggests I have a six inch penis. And let's not, let's not say that. Sorry, we don't have that kind of budget anymore.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome John Hortez.

Hey, John Huertes, ladies and gentlemen. Applaas, please. I can hear it. Did somebody boo? Get that guy out of here. That was my uncle. He hates me. Son of a bitch. All right. Good. He's gone now. John, where are you right now? I'm actually in Venice Beach, California, in the house that I'm trying to sell.

Oh, are you selling the Venice house? Yeah, are you looking for one? You put a lot of work into that house. I did. Yeah. It's like a work of art. You did the thing where the second floor has more floor space than the first floor.

What?

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