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We are a social species with a drive to attach for security, care, self-worth, emotion, regulation.

Whereas many other species survive by running, flying, claws, talents, shells to protect them.

Our species survives by attaching to others for support and we are

all born prematurely in the sense that we require years of care to reach an age where we can survive on our own.

So given the fact that our species thrived by developing tribal bonds and also that our species require so much

care during our infant years to reach maturity to a point where we can thrive on our own.

We were all built with a core, we are all, our brains are encoded with systems that create core drives to attach.

Attachment is not the only drive we have, we have drives to exploration and aggression and

Freud suggested we have drives to discharge

the libidinal energy, but the primary drive of a human being is to attach

to another human being for soothing, and so forth.

And when we get attention, comfort, express delight from another,

regularly it creates what's called a secure base. What is a secure base? It's a felt sense that someone is available who can

reliably process the emotional events of our life.

When we have someone there that we feel we can go to,

to stay with us and help us make sense of our life.

Help us feel safe again when we're overwhelmed.

...