Not All Intensity Is Love—The Problem With Love Bombing

The Best of You

Dr. Alison Cook

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 956 Ratings

🗓️ 22 April 2026

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today’s Scripture is: Proverbs 27:6 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** When a relationship feels powerful, fast, and deeply affirming, it can be hard to slow down and discern what’s real. This episode unpacks the difference between emotional intensity and genuine love—helping you recognize red flags, trust your intuition, and move toward steady, grounded connection. In this episode: *Why intensity ≠ intimacy *The psychology behind fast attachment and emotional acceleration *Subtle signs of love bombing and relational urgency *How to evaluate consistency over chemistry *What it means to build safe, sustainable connection Go Deeper: Episode 178: How to Recognize Toxic Tactics, and Stop Taking the Bait Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, I'm Dr. Allison.
0:03.4	Today's scripture offers us a wiser way of being human as we step into the day.
0:11.9	Today we're diving into something that can be incredibly confusing in relationships, intensity.
0:18.1	Because sometimes intensity feels like connection. It feels like chemistry. It feels like being seen. But not all intensity. Because sometimes intensity feels like connection. It feels like chemistry. It feels like
0:22.3	being seen. But not all intensity is love. Today's episode is coming directly from many of you who
0:29.3	wrote in requesting that I talk about this dynamic. It's about relationships that start fast,
0:35.3	feel powerful, even beautiful at the start, and then become confusing,
0:39.6	destabilizing, and painful. So if you've ever found yourself wondering, was that real? Did I imagine
0:45.5	that? Why did that love feel so strong at first? You're not alone. And this scripture is short,
0:51.2	but it gives us a surprisingly clear lens.
0:55.5	Today's scripture is Proverbs 27.6.
0:59.7	Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
1:06.0	I love this proverb. It's such a striking image.
1:09.4	Someone who multiplies kisses, someone who offers
1:12.2	excessive praise, affirmation, attention, and yet scripture says that can actually be a sign of
1:18.0	danger. Because real love isn't measured by how intense it feels in the beginning. It's measured by
1:23.7	honesty, consistency, by what unfolds over time. And this is where so many of us get tripped up,
1:31.3	especially if there is a part of you that longs deeply to be chosen, to be seen, to be loved.
1:36.3	When that kind of attention comes fast, strong affirming, it can feel like relief, like water in a desert,
1:42.5	like finally being noticed in the way you've always hoped
1:45.2	for. And again, there isn't anything wrong with that longing. It's human. It's tender. It makes
1:50.6	sense. But it does mean we need discernment. This is part of what many people are describing
	...

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