Let Your No Be No (And Stop Overexplaining!)
The Best of You
Dr. Alison Cook
4.9 • 957 Ratings
🗓️ 21 April 2026
⏱️ 11 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | Hey everyone, I'm Dr. Allison. Today's scripture offers us a wiser way of being human as we step into the day. |
| 0:12.0 | Today's passage is short, but it's incredibly profound, because so many of us live in a kind of internal tension between what we feel, what we think we should say, and what |
| 0:22.1 | we actually say to other people. And over time, that gap can become exhausting, especially if you've |
| 0:29.3 | learned to be attentive to other people's needs, other people's moods, other people's expectations, |
| 0:34.5 | especially if you become skilled at keeping the peace, smoothing things over, or anticipating |
| 0:39.4 | what will make someone else feel comfortable. What can happen is that you begin to lose touch with |
| 0:45.4 | your own clear center, your own true north. You start speaking from fear instead of truth, |
| 0:51.8 | from obligation, instead of conviction, from anxiety, instead of integrity. |
| 0:57.7 | And that wears down the soul. So today, Jesus gives us a teaching that is simple on the surface, |
| 1:04.1 | but challenging in practice. Today's scripture is Matthew 533 through 37. You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, |
| 1:14.8 | do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made. But I tell you, do not swear an |
| 1:21.1 | oath at all, either by heaven, for it is God's throne or by the earth, for that is his footstool, |
| 1:26.3 | or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great king. |
| 1:29.5 | And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. |
| 1:34.7 | All you need to say is simply yes or no. Anything beyond this comes from the evil one. |
| 1:43.6 | At first, this last verse can feel almost too simple. |
| 1:47.0 | Just say yes or no. |
| 1:49.0 | But when you sit with it for a moment, you realize how difficult that actually is. |
| 1:54.0 | Because most of us understand what yes and no means, but we struggle with saying them. |
| 2:00.0 | We say yes, when we mean no, we equivocate, when we really |
| 2:04.1 | just want to say a clean yes, we soften our no into maybe, we explain, justify, over-clary |
| 2:10.7 | and cushion our words, hoping they will be more acceptable. And underneath that is often |
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