No Such Thing As Crown Jewels For The Cookie Monster

No Such Thing As A Fish

Arts, Nature, History, Science, Improv, Comedy

4.8 • 17.9K Ratings

🗓️ 9 October 2025

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dan, James, Andy and Melanie Bracewell discuss currents, biscuit tins, jam dodgers and all sorts of pi.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi everyone, welcome to this week's episode of No Such Things a Fish where we were joined by the fantastic Melanie Bracewell.
0:10.3	Melanie's a really good friend of ours. We've known her for many, many years. She's a regular on Australian television in New Zealand as well. She's been on New Zealand Taskmaster. She hosts a TV show called Cheap Seats Australia. But you'll have seen her on TV in the UK as well. She's been on New Zealand Taskmaster. She hosts a TV show called Cheap Seats Australia.
0:22.8	But you've seen her on TV in the UK as well. She's been on QI a couple of times. And she has very
0:29.0	recently been on Richard Osman's House of Games. She's a brilliant stand-up comedian as well, though.
0:34.1	And so if you would like to see her on tour, great news she is coming to the UK
0:38.6	and her tickets are available at Melanie Bracewell.com slash tour and you will not be
0:45.4	disappointed if you go and see her because she is an absolutely brilliant stand-up comedian.
0:49.7	Anyway, not much more to say apart from on with the podcast.
1:21.4	Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast this week coming to you from four undisclosed locations around the globe.
1:29.2	My name is Dan Schreiber. I am sitting here with Andrew Hunter Murray, James Harkin. As special guests, it's Melanie Bracewell.
1:34.6	And once again, we have gathered round the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days. And in no particular order, here we go.
1:38.4	Starting with fact number one, and that is Mel.
1:41.9	My fact this week is that a congested tunnel in Australia has installed moving lights that you race against,
1:49.7	and it has helped reduce stop, start traffic by 70%.
1:54.2	And I drive this tunnel frequently.
1:57.6	Do you?
1:57.9	And you've done the racing against the lights?
1:59.8	Yeah.
2:00.1	I mean, when I say race, I don't think that's what you're actually supposed to do done the racing against the lights? Yeah. I mean when I say
2:00.9	race, I don't think that's what you're actually supposed to do. It's what I do.
2:05.7	It's essentially, it keeps pace with kind of the slowest traffic in the tunnel. Therefore,
2:12.4	the pace is consistent and people aren't like driving super fast and then stopping and then
	...

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