No Bad Kids: Questions About Tantrums, Mealtimes, and Cleaning Up

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 14 January 2020

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

After reading Janet’s book “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame,” a parent has some practical follow-up questions about his daughter’s behaviors; specifically in regard to tantrums, mealtime boundaries, and cooperation in cleaning up her messes. This dad says there are certain “values/etiquette” he would like his daughter to learn, but he realizes these qualities must evolve organically and can’t be coerced. He describes his own upbringing as disciplinarian, and he doesn’t want to expose his kids “to the same feelings of shame and mistrust.” For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Janet Lansbury.
0:04.1	Welcome to Unruffold.
0:06.1	Today I'm doing something a little bit different.
0:08.1	I have a note I receive from a parent, a dad actually, who has read my book No Bad Kids
0:14.8	and he has three different areas that he wants clarification on.
0:19.6	So I'm going to do that and I'll take the questions one by one.
0:26.4	Here's the note I received.
0:28.0	Hi Janet, I just finished reading your book No Bad Kids and it was truly eye opening.
0:32.8	Coming from a disciplinary and family and not wanting to expose my children to the same
0:36.9	feelings of shame and mistrust, this was exactly the guidance I was seeking.
0:42.4	I do have a few practical questions as I felt the book dealt mostly with initial boundary
0:47.3	setting and interactions and there are inevitably slips and tantrums.
0:53.9	Question 1.
0:54.9	The book describes simply being present during a tantrum.
0:58.3	Do most tantrums truly self-resolve and how long do you allow for them?
1:04.0	While my wife and I don't use distraction as a standard technique, we have certainly
1:08.1	found that our daughter requires some level of, quote, problem solving or suggestions
1:13.7	to help her wind down from a tantrum.
1:16.2	Would you not recommend this?
1:18.0	Okay, so there's actually some interesting science on this that it is not helpful to
1:24.6	talk to a child during a tantrum.
1:27.5	That that actually can increase the discomfort that they feel and make it harder for them
	...

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