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Judge John Hodgman

No Acquitting for Taste

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.87.7K Ratings

🗓️ 27 April 2016

⏱️ 56 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Abtin brings the case against his girlfriend Kelsey over the decor in their new apartment. Abtin wants to go modern and classy. Kelsey says that would be boring and wants furnishings that are more quirky and unique.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bill if Jesse Thorn. This week, no

0:07.4

acquitting for taste. Optin brings the case against his girlfriend Kelsey over the decor

0:13.0

in their new apartment. Optin wants to go modern and classy. Kelsey says that would be

0:18.2

boring and wants furnishings that are more quirky and unique. Who's right? Who's wrong

0:23.9

only one man can decide? Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

0:30.9

Long ago in days of your it all began with a god named Thor. There were Vikings and boats

0:38.0

and some plans for a furniture store. It's not a bodega, it's not a mall and they sell

0:45.0

things for courtrooms that are smaller than mine as if there were courtrooms smaller than

0:49.9

mine. A name store, just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen. A name store,

0:59.2

selling furniture for college kids and divorced men. Everyone has a court. But if you don't

1:06.3

have a court, you can buy one there. Bill of Jesse Thorn, swear they're the men.

1:12.1

Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

1:16.2

nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear to abide

1:23.5

by Judge Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he abhor is all furniture? I do. Yes, I do.

1:31.6

Very well, Judge Hodgman. Optin and Kelsey, you may be seated for an immediate summary

1:36.2

judgment in one of your favors. Can either of you name the piece of culture that I sang

1:42.9

I dare say beautifully before walking into this courtroom. Kelsey, you have been brought

1:48.1

into this court against your will by optin. You have the choice to either guess or make

1:54.2

optin guess first, but you will guess. Um, I'll make optin guess first. I think she's

1:59.8

playing this game. Jesse, I think she's at a next level. Optin, you got it?

2:07.3

I unfortunately know I'm going to guess it is some sort of commercial for furniture store.

2:14.3

Okay, I'll let that be a guess. Kelsey, what is your guess? My guess isn't any better. I

...

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