Hello, welcome to her. Welcome to our welcome back to Trend to Care. If you're new here, my name's Ashley.

And today I just want to do a really relaxing episode because I actually leave for New York Fashion

Week tomorrow. Future me here, I'm currently editing this episode and I'm actually not going to

New York Fashion Week. Something happened and I'm not going anymore. Okay, anyways, let's go back to

the episode. Okay, bye. But I get so anxious before I leave for trips and when I'm away from home, I just hate being away from home, especially when I'm traveling alone. I've always gotten so homesick. I was always the kid at the sleepovers who wouldn't stay the night. I'd call my parents in the middle of the night and be like, mom, can you come pick me up? And she dead ass would every single time.

I think it also just doesn't help that I have a really hard time sleeping and I've always had a

hard time sleeping. I experience insomnia. I experience night tears. I have sleep paralysis. and I'm just also a very anxious person, so

like many, I can't sleep and I struggle with negative thoughts before bed. It's definitely worse when

I'm stressed out or I'm going through a hard time. That's when I struggle with sleep the most.

But when I am experiencing difficulty sleeping and I'm just getting shit sleep,

I truly dread going to bed. Going to sleep should be this relaxing experience, something that you

look forward to after a long day. But when you have a hard time sleeping, going to bed isn't

enjoyable. Not to be dramatic, but it almost feels like this

impending doom because you know that you're going to be laying there for hours, restless,

tossing and turning and not being able to turn your brain off. It used to be so bad for me when

I would have to go to work in the morning and be up at a specific time because the anxiety of knowing that I wasn't going to get enough sleep and I was going to be tired made me more anxious and made me not be able to fall asleep.

So I'd be tossing and turning until 4 a.m.

Literally just laying there with my eyes closed, but wide awake.

And I still struggle with that, especially on days where I have something

important or I have to be up early the next day. But I have been working really hard on making

a nighttime routine that calms me down, gets me ready for bed, and is actually enjoyable

and something that I look forward to. I don't want to dread going to bed.

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