The average, the average citizen sees maybe one, two critical incidents throughout their lifetime.

Something that might affect them, given post-traumatic stress, police officer in a 20-year career is going to see up the words of 800.

They pull them over, they got no paperwork, but they got a fat roll of cash.

And why should I go bring them in? I'm making $25,000 a year having to live in New York City.

Why should I go take them in?

I'm just going to take a little bit here. I'm going to take a little bit here.

And then the first time you take it, second time is much easier.

First time is a hard part. Second time, pretty easy. You already got away with it once.

And one of the first autopsy's I ever went to was a 43 year old man and he's on the table and he's like this.

He had a heart attack.

But I remember, you got to develop this really sick, dark, gallows humor.

I remember looking at the guy, I'm like, Doc, you don't need to do the autopsy.

He's like, what are you talking about? And I said, I already know what he died of, died of smallpox.

Once they cut that open, you see more blood coming out.

Then once they do the hedge clippers, then the blood just pours out because their heart exploded.

I remember that visceral feeling inside of me, when I'm looking at this person going,

you did this to a little kid, because again, going back to the way I grew up, you want to kill him.

So I go in my office, I had a Chief Special 38, nickel plated,

I had a hollow point bullets in it, I put it in my mouth, right to note,

put the gun in my mouth and I'm falling crying and I just, I'm not going to die.

All right, we have got Kevin Donaldson.

You may have seen him on Matt Cox's channel or soft white underbelly to my favorite channels.

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