Welcome to Edit Your Life, a podcast to help you edit the unnecessary from your life so you have more room to enjoy the awesome.

Through episodes with me, Christine Coe, and a range of smart, compassionate guests, you will come away with insights and tactics to help you find the agency and space to simplify and declutter your home, time, mental space, and more.

Hello, friends. I am really delighted to bring this conversation with me and Asha out of the locked archives for you today.

We originally aired this episode in December of 2016, and as you might

recall, it was a contentious time politically, and it felt like the division and pain in the air

colored and amped up, well, everything. That said, negotiating time in relationships is indeed an evergreen topic, and I also thought it would

be good to lift this episode up as we approach the seasonal transition of fall when schedules

and routines are often due for a refresh or some tweaking.

This conversation was inspired by a listener letter, which I want to read to you today.

The listener wrote, I was wondering if you and Asha could address how to negotiate time with

your partner or spouse, as in how to not feel bad about time you take or feel like you

owe something in return. Oftentimes, I find that it feels rather loaded,

and I don't know if this is because we are being childish. For example, I go for a long run,

but then feel that I need to offer a couple of hours of alone time in return. One person offers,

I think you need to take a day by yourself, but then that is followed by

griping about how horrible it was to have to hold down the home front while the person who took

the offer was gone. Family time. Seems boring to one spouse, but not to the other to engage in a kid

activity. So often, the other parent goes off and does other

things. It all feels like a business transaction rather than something more organic, although I don't

know how that would look. We can't seem to figure it out. First, it's worth saying that I've been doing

this show for a long time, and I've always, at every turn,

been so humbled by and grateful for the vulnerability and candor with which people share and reach

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