Not to theelia is confused. This is Matelia

aka Am Diesel and it is Thursday evening January 14th. This episode

will probably come out later tonight but I guess it's possible it won't come out till Friday morning or you won't at least see it until Friday morning, so those are all facts.

I guess just, I mean there's so much to fucking talk about and

sorry but it's just the way it is most of it's going to be up about politics

uh... or at least political adjacent.

However, before I even touch on any of that stuff, I wanted to, I never do this,

and I'm happy I never do this. This time it wasn't so bad though.

I just don't I have a thing where I'm a writer by trade and I've been writing

obviously much longer than I've been doing this

But I don't like I'm I know a lot of writers who are like

Yeah, I just always want feedback, you know? And I kind of used to be like that. I kind of wanted to know what people thought, what they think I should do, like any changes they had in mind, what it should be more like less like whatever

but now I don't give the fucking shit you know I just like I wrote the thing and it's the thing I wanted to write. And there's a kind of feedback that I do like. Like if I write something and give it to someone like my fucking manager or a close writer friend who I trust, I trust them to read it knowing vaguely or generally

the kind of thing I like, the kind of thing I'm getting at, what I want to do with the thing.

And then somebody can give me notes based on or feedback based on

what they know I want to do. But I don't want just some fucking feedback from some

fucker and just in general, you know, constructive criticism. I don't give

a fuck, I want to do the thing I want to do. And like that's what everyone should do. I'm not special on that. I think everyone

should not focus on doing the things that other people want them to do more.

They should focus on the things they want to focus on more. They should be more themselves naturally and not less.

Obviously there's like exceptions to make and whatever not everybody's the same some people do like feedback and if you do if you thrive on that if it makes you feel better about it fine I'm not telling you how to do it I'm just saying this is the way I am about it now.

And so the thing I was saying earlier about what I don't often do

...