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Titus Podcast

NATO You Didn't!

Titus Podcast

Christopher Titus

Update, Armageddon, Comedy, Arts, Titus, Performing Arts, Christophertitus, Funny, Angrypursuit, News

4.52.2K Ratings

🗓️ 14 July 2023

⏱️ 100 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Titus Podcast... SCREAM SANITY!

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I'm Christopher Tattis and he's an arrogant and up-a-date.

0:12.9

What the hell is NATO?

0:13.9

Now why the hell do we need it?

0:15.1

Well NATO is the North Atlantic Treaty Organization which is an agreement by member countries to

0:19.5

come together in the case of an attack by one of those Darth Vader countries you know

0:24.2

the ones I'm talking about Russia, China, Iran, Florida.

0:28.6

The North Atlantic Treaty Organization was created in 1949 by the United States Canada

0:32.9

and several Western European nations to deal with the threat of the Soviet Union you know

0:38.0

because at that time we thought all the Russians wanted to do was drop a nuke on every third

0:42.8

grade classroom in America.

0:53.2

And it turns out after watching them invade Ukraine they can't fix a fucking truck!

0:58.4

And their leader Putin is afraid of Nosferatu.

1:03.6

However membership in NATO in peacetime is kind of like my life insurance when you're

1:08.4

22.

1:09.4

You don't really think about it but then you get that colon scan and realize oh my god

1:12.9

I should have joined NATO!

1:15.5

I know I'm mixing my metaphors here but in a way NATO deals with cancerous polyps like

1:21.0

Russia, China, Iran and Florida.

1:24.0

NATO is like the good gang that stops the bullies.

1:31.6

The original antifa except that they can also really burn things down if you want to

1:36.3

get froggy.

1:37.7

How do you join NATO?

...

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