NATO You Didn't!
Titus Podcast
Christopher Titus
4.6 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 14 July 2023
⏱️ 100 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Titus Podcast... SCREAM SANITY!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I'm Christopher Tattis and this is an Armageddon update. |
| 0:12.8 | What the hell is NATO? And why the hell do we need it? Well, NATO is the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, which is an agreement by member countries to come together in the case of an |
| 0:21.0 | attack by one of those Darth Vader countries. You know the ones I'm talking about, Russia, China, |
| 0:26.3 | Iran, Florida. The North Atlantic Treaty Organization was created in 1949 by the United States, |
| 0:32.6 | Canada, and several Western European nations to deal with the threat of the Soviet Union, you know? |
| 0:38.0 | Because at that time, we thought all the Russians wanted to do was drop a nuke on every third grade classroom in America. |
| 0:44.6 | Duck and cover. |
| 0:45.8 | Fight. |
| 0:46.3 | And doctor and cover under the table. |
| 0:48.5 | It's a bomb. |
| 0:49.3 | He did what we all must learn to do. |
| 0:53.1 | And it turns out, after watching them invade Ukraine, they can't fix a fucking truck. |
| 1:00.0 | And their leader, Putin, is afraid of Nasferatu. |
| 1:03.5 | However, membership in NATO in peacetime is kind of like mine life insurance when you're 22. |
| 1:08.8 | You don't really think about it. |
| 1:10.6 | But then you get that colon scan and realize, oh my God, I should have joined NATO. |
| 1:14.6 | I know I'm mixing my metaphors here, but in a way, NATO deals with cancerous polyps like Russia, China, Iran, and Florida. |
| 1:23.6 | NATO is like the good gang that stops the bullies. |
| 1:26.6 | We're drawing the line to keep the notes hidden. |
| 1:29.3 | We're hanging a sign. |
| 1:31.3 | The original Antifa, except that they can also really burn things down if you want to get froggy. |
| 1:37.3 | How do you join NATO? Well, there are some rules. |
... |
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