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80/20

my testimony: from manifestation, anxiety, & struggling with self acceptance to Jesus

80/20

That Sounds Fun Network

Health & Fitness, How To, Society & Culture, Personal Journals, Education

4.8698 Ratings

🗓️ 16 January 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this vulnerable episode, Lily shares her full testimony for the first time on the podcast. Since she was a young girl, Lily had always desired acceptance from those around her, and being well liked was a top priority. Over the years, Lily battled body image issues, depression, anxiety, and turned to the internet, relationships, or achievements to find validation. One day, Lily heard a voice propose an idea that she could not have created herself, and that's when a small shift began to propel her towards God. Listen to "faith in the waiting season" Connect with 80/20 https://instagram.com/8020pod Connect with Lily https://instagram.com/lilyrakow Submit to the 80/20 Advice Column https://forms.gle/L486EGDeX34CEVqX8 Join the newsletter https://lilyrakow.myflodesk.com/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:29.8

I remember sitting on the floor of my room and I was trying to manifest a better body. Instead of

0:36.4

trying to learn how to love my current body, the one that I'm in or the one that I was in to manifest a better body. Instead of trying to learn how to love my current body,

0:38.9

the one that I'm in or the one that I was in that day, I just wished for a better one. I was praying

0:43.7

to the universe instead of praying to God. So my whole life up until that point, I had been so

0:49.5

worried about two things. My brain had been so focused on two things. What can I change about myself that

0:56.6

will get people to like me? And how can I prove that I'm worth loving? And all along, God has loved

1:02.8

me and does love me. Jesus died for me so I didn't have to bear the weight of worrying if people

1:09.4

would like me. That I didn't have to bear the weight of that self-hatred, that I didn't have to bear the weight of

1:11.6

that self-hatred that I didn't have to bear the weight of all those other vices that I was

1:15.1

turning to with the false idea that I can change my own life because when you're turning to all

1:20.2

those things all those ways of the world you're trying to be your own God you're trying to be

1:24.8

the master of your own destiny and you think that when you hit certain markers you'll have it all that you can create your own God. You're trying to be the master of your own destiny and you think that when you hit certain markers you'll have it all, that you can create your own reality and all this stuff.

1:32.8

And I was spinning my wheels so far into a hole of despair that I was crying on my bathroom floor

1:38.9

wishing that I wasn't alive anymore.

1:50.0

Hi guys, what's up?

1:51.6

Welcome to her back to the show.

1:54.0

Thank you so much for clicking on today's episode.

...

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