Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from two to five PM Eastern time on serious XM triumph 11. Maria, welcome to the program.

Thank you for taking my call Dr. Laura. Thank you. So I just need a little help with doing with my older sister. So she's been a lifelong bully and kind of uses emotional blackmail to kind of get me to do whatever she wants me to do.

And I want her in my life. So I kind of can have it both ways dear. Can't have it both ways. Can't have it both ways. The reason you have been acquiescing to her demands is you irrationally want to keep a bully in your life.

Well, if you want to keep her in your life, then you will be bullied. You can't separate them.

Okay. I mean, because basically I'm just trying to figure out like I want her in my life, but I need her to stop changing. No, I'm sorry. I just explained to you.

They are one entity. You can't have one separate from the other.

Even though she's a bully, she's asked me to be her maid of honor in her wedding. Yes, because she wants what she wants. I don't understand why you're confused with that.

No, you're right. I guess I'm trying to not hear the truth. I'm just.

Pretty much. You say something else. Okay. Yeah, I'm good. How about this? We'll try by attrition.

Do this thing because this thing is really not against your own will and desire.

So be in her wedding. And in the future, when you sense, when you detect that she's gilting you into doing something you don't wish to do say, you know, I love you dearly, but.

Yeah, I'm not going to be able to do this for you. Sorry. Okay.

And see how long she keeps you in her life, but you're the one who has to change. She is not going to change. You have to change.

It sounds so easy to change, but it's like I don't know how well, then don't expect her to change dear. That is arrogant beyond and hypocritical. Come on.

It's very difficult to change. Can't she do it? I don't want to. It's too hard.

Thank you. You're right.

So true. I appreciate that. And you just tell like it is. Thank you so much.

You're very welcome and have a nice time at the wedding. Hopefully there's good food. I hope so too. Thank you.

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