Hey Jack, I'm seeing your business everywhere. Have you got a new marketing person or something?

You could say I've got a new secret weapon for print. Print? Oh, Vista print, right? That's not a secret.

How did you know? Come on. Custom posters, branded mugs, stylish flyers. Only one place prints all that. Vista print.

Yeah, I got business cards, stickers, t-shirts, booklets, signage, even photo books from my last holiday. Print everything for your business with VistaPrint. If you need it, we print it at vistoprint.co.. Talk to nice sleep. A bowl of cereal should not be rage-inducing. It just shouldn't. Cereal is meant to be fun. A whimsical way to start the day.

A blast of sugar that hits the bloodstream and sends tingles through the body.

Bright colors like neon pink and traffic cone orange that excite the eyes.

Adventurous flavors based on ice cream and cookies and candy.

Sometimes, even little prizes are at the bottom of the box.

Cereal should make you smile in the morning,

unless your roommate loves that pretentious cousin of granola.

Musely.

What the fuck even is Musley?

Fucking oats and some dried dates? That's not how you start a day.

That's how you punish yourself for your transgressions. It's the flagellation of breakfast

foods. You are beating your stomach until it bleeds. So, as I stare at the half-eaten bowl

that sits on the coffee table, I have to wonder whether or not my roommate

is possessed. Seriously. Only a demon from hell would intentionally ingest such crap.

And only a demon from hell would then leave a half-eaten bowl sitting on the coffee table

all day long. Oh, don't get me wrong. I saw it this morning when I left for work.

Mickey had already been gone an hour since he works all kinds of odd shifts.

But I wasn't going to pick it up. No. I make my toast and eggs and wash my pan and plate every single morning.

I saved the fun cereal for the weekends. But Mickey? Lately, he just leaves his bowls

...