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My mom is 82 years old and she just got hearing aids for $2,000 and she is asking me and my

sisters to help pay the money back that she charged to her credit cards.

And, you know, she doesn't, she lives on our Social Security.

She never really saved for retirement.

And I feel like even every time we go out, she, you know, expects us to pay for the dinners or lunches or whatever we do.

And most of the time, I do, but not all the time.

And I've helped her before with her budget.

And I know she could save to pay for this purchase.

But how do I approach her about asking for money and the entitlement she obviously

feels that we owe her? Oh, what would you do? I'm on Baby Step 2 right now and really don't have

the money to give her. Well, I think you're, you just answered your own question. I think the

part that sounds like it's weighing you down is the stories you're telling yourself about her requests.

And so if you've offered to pay for dinner a bunch of times, I don't fault her for just assuming you're going to always pay for it.

If you think that's a move on her part and she's done that before and she's always trying to, like your whole childhood, she was trying to get people to pay for food or whatever, that's another story. But if you're, if you don't have the money, you can just say, hey, mom, I'm working on my own finances. I can't kick in on this time. That's it. And you can't control what questions she asked you. You can't control her temper tantrums.

You can't control the guilt you would feel because you want to be able to do it. You just can't right now. You can't control any of that stuff. What you can control is what you do the next right move you make. Your feelings are going to happen regardless. What's the next right thing? The next right thing is I can't afford it. I can't help right now.

Have you ever pushed back on her and just said, hey, mom, I love you, want to be honest, I'm not able to give you money anymore. I got to focus on my own financial responsibilities. I have. I've said to her before, you know, she asked me, you know, why haven't we been doing some stuff as much as we used to.

And I said, well, Mom, I can't afford you.

Like, every time we used to? And I said,

well, mom, I can't afford you. Like, every time we go to lunch, you expect me to pay. And then even when I pay, you know, you don't say thank you. And, you know, I just, I don't have the funds.

Like, I have to, when I think of going out, you know, I have to watch my pennies because I'm trying to, you know, get out of debt.

But can you all do other things? Can you go for a walk? Can you take some dominoes over to her house and play?

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