Ask them directly, are you acting as a fiduciary in this conversation?

And ask about compensation.

Commission can create conflicts of interest, even if the recommendation is permitted.

And this isn't about assuming bad a tent, I will say.

There are a lot of great advisors out there that are trying to do the right thing every day. However, you want to make sure you have a really clear

understanding of who you're talking to, how they operate, and what standard they're being held

to at that moment. Hey, everyone, it's Gene Chatsky, and it's time for Mailbag.

Now, we talk a lot on this show about the rules of personal finance.

Max out your 401K.

Don't touch your retirement savings.

Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.

And those rules exist for a good reason, because the math is

pretty clear you can borrow for college, but you can't borrow for retirement. But here's what

the math does not account for. The moment your kid gets into their dream school or tells you they can't afford to take an unpaid internship or is choosing between what seems like two very different futures based on what you can and can't afford to do.

In those moments, the voice telling you what you should do goes quiet and that tension between

what you know deep down is the right financial move and what you feel as a parent just takes over.

This is something I hear about all the time. Many of you are trying to support your kids while protecting your own

futures and feeling guilty that it's so difficult to do both. Today we are getting into all of it,

the tradeoffs, the emotions, the strategies, and how to make a decision that you can actually

feel good about. We've got questions about what to do with

529 college savings accounts when your kids no longer need them, how to put a sudden financial

windfall to work when you're already doing a lot of things right, and how to navigate college

...