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Desiree, welcome to the program.

Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for sharing your energy and time with me. How are you today?

You're very kind. Thank you. What can I do for you?

Hi, I have a husband. The marry for about two years now literally turn half and I was just noticing an issue where he doesn't allow me to finish my sentences or thoughts and

what do you mean he doesn't allow you? What does that mean?

Meaning he cuts me off whenever I try to express how I feel about something or you know say something in depth. He'll cut me off before I get three or four words out.

Well, how does he know the subject matter if it's only three or four words?

Exactly. He just cuts me off like it'll be something that's happening and I'll get into trying to express how I feel about it.

Like his memory, I'm starting to show some kind of way because he doesn't remember anything I say and so I'll say like you should listen to your wife, listen to your wife, if you come to problems.

So now he doesn't want to listen at all. It's like it became a defense mechanism. I don't know what it is.

Yeah, Desiree, you put him in a position of feeling as though we had a defend himself. It sounds like your feelings and your thoughts that you wanted to express were largely kind of critical of him.

I only say this is your wife after he didn't and what I said actually happened. That's kind of critical. It's sort of I told you so.

Yeah, actually people don't want to hear that probably especially husbands.

So it's not just that he's a bastard and doesn't want to let you finish your thoughts. It's that he doesn't want to hear them because they're unpleasant for him to hear.

Not all of them.

You know me telling you how I feel about how you treat me.

If you really believe he treats you poorly pack your bags and get out. Whenever I say that to a woman, she starts defending whenever I.

When you tell a man you don't like how he's treating you, it means he's treating you poorly. I've never heard a woman say I don't like that you're treating me nicely.

Can I be blunt? I'm going to be blunt anyway. I think you don't realize how much maternally critical you are with him and he's shutting you out.

Either that or you're married to a very bad man at which case you should leave.

But if he's not a very bad man then you're shutting him down because he doesn't want to hear any more criticism. How negative you feel.

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