Brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. My fiancé and I recently moved

into a house together. I am not on the mortgage, but I live here, and he pays the bills. His dad helped

him buy the house, and my fiance pays his dad instead of a mortgage lender. On top of that, my fiance uses a credit

card that's also paid for by his dad. Oh, geez. His dad is a big fan of yours and a very smart

businessman. Sounds like a raving fan. Loves us. But this is one thing he does opposite of what you advise um when i bring up getting

rid of the credit card or buying a house the right way he gets defensive and upset i don't know who if

that's your father-in-law soon to be or your your fiancee what should be my first step to fix this

problem um i rachel i think this is as simple as you fiance. What should be my first step to fix this problem?

Rachel, I think this is as simple as you telling your fiance that if we're going to get

married, it's going to be our marriage, not, I'm not marrying your dad too, right?

Like, we have to put some boundaries in place right now.

You're getting a very clear picture of what your future may look like if you go through with this,

which is marrying a little boy in a grown-up man's body who's dad still pays his bills.

His dad still tells him what to do his dad still

the shadow of his father leans over your house and if this is my sister if this is my daughter

if this is my friend i would say i would draw some real firm boundaries yes yeah because if you

can't handle it during engagement he's definitely not going to handle it well yeah wait till you

have a kid yes so yeah wait till you have a kid.

Yes. So, yeah. Wait till you get a job in another state and daddy says you can't move.

And even if it was a debit card and his dad's paying, you know, funding his checking account, also, so that's the issue. The dad and then also the fact that debt is being, you know, woven through this entire picture. And if you're not okay with that, you guys have two separate values when it comes to money, which is a really big deal. I always, I feel like a shallow person and I'm always like, oh my gosh, money can ruin the relationship because it feels like, no, that shouldn't love should conquer all. But the truth is, when like rubber meets the road and you guys day in and day out are dealing with your life, this is one of the biggest,

the biggest issues in marriage that can cause so much conflict if you're not on the same page.

So can it be done? It can, but it's just an exhausting uphill battle.

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