My 16-Year-Old Sticky w/ The Ryans

Have Kids, They Said…

SiriusXM

Parenting, Kids & Family, Volume, Sxm, Morning Mash Up, After Mash

5 • 873 Ratings

🗓️ 13 March 2025

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In today’s episode, The Ryans are back and raunchier than ever! While Matt is exhausted after a week spent searching New York City for his lost phone, jacket, and scooter, Nicole is perplexed by the mysterious parent who shows up at their kids’ bus stop dressed like a ninja. Later, they mull over the pros and cons of city life while contemplating a future move to the suburbs. In a relatable yet mortifying pivot, Matt and Nicole jokingly reflect on their teenage masturbation habits, particularly after an insightful look into their son Keegan’s iPad search history. Who knew that the dirty Google searches of today’s youth ranged from ‘barbecue sauce on titties’ to ‘kissing on the lips’?

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	All right, it's time, and you guessed it.
0:03.2	The most inappropriate man alive, Matt Ryan is in the room.
0:06.3	Hi, sweetheart.
0:07.0	I would definitely not let your kids listen to this episode.
0:09.6	Yes, do not.
0:10.3	This is your warning.
0:11.1	I repeat, this is your warning.
0:12.9	Get them out of the room, especially with Matt Ryan on this episode, okay?
0:16.9	You've been warned.
0:21.7	What's your name?
0:23.4	Who am I?
0:24.5	Who am I? Daddy. We meet again. This is exciting. It is exciting. I, you know what, I always get excited when you're on with me because you're usually fairly unhinged, and people seem to enjoy a very unhinged Matt Ryan.
0:52.4	Well, I was scouring the Facebook board.
0:56.0	Yeah.
0:56.6	Apparently, I'm a little mean to you.
0:57.9	So I'm going to take it real easy on you today.
0:59.7	He's not mean to me.
1:00.8	I mean, he can be me.
1:01.8	Shut up.
1:02.2	I'm not done.
1:03.2	I'm going to be nice today.
1:04.7	You need to have your vape and your glasses right there.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from SiriusXM, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of SiriusXM and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.