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Basketball Illuminati

MVP Conversation Bar Rescue

Basketball Illuminati

Count The Dings

Comedy, Sports, Basketball

4.91.5K Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2026

⏱️ 78 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes get inside the mind of a head-butting Dan Hurley and imagine Doc Rivers' HOF Induction speech. As April is upon us, the time has come to spend another night at the MVP Conversation Bar and figure out who's holding court. Truth Teller Jason Timpf of Hoops Tonight joins us to relegate all inferior tanking solutions to a developmental league and guide us through a highly competitive and entertaining MVP race. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to the Illuminati YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the Count The Dings Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/countthedings⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Check it out here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Basketball Illuminati! On⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠basketballilluminati@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@bballilluminati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@basketballilluminati⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

I'm Richard Serrett. Join me on Strange Planet for in-depth conversations with the world's top paranormal investigators, alien abductees, bigfoot trackers, monster hunters, time travelers, and more.

0:11.1

The handler one day told her this whole thing about how they've been terraforming on Mars, and they're building a colony,

0:16.7

and they're recruiting specific people of specific bloodlines and specific talents and skill sets to go onto the planet.

0:23.0

On Richard Serrett's Strange Planet, we're redefining reality. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

0:35.1

The comments made by Meena-Haston are made by him and him himself and nobody else and

0:39.6

not indicative of basketball, Luminati, Time Habistro, Anthony Mays, or any guest incorporated.

0:45.7

Guys, I was working the Blazers game on Sunday.

0:48.9

It was a matinee game, 3 o'clock local time against the Wizards.

0:53.6

So I'm working the play-by-play with Kevin Calabro, Lamar Hurd, and I'm feeling pretty good about the first half. We called the game. At halftime, the players are shooting, getting ready for the second half, and then all of a sudden, the whole motor center just erupts. Yeah. Chearing. That's a fun experience. And I'm like, what just happened? Did someone hit a half-court shot on the Jumbotron? Did Steph Curry show up and hit like a full-court shot or something like that? I look around and it's just people losing their minds looking at their phone. And it occurred to me. No way. Did Yukon just pull off the upset?

1:28.3

And Donovan Klingin, who is the two-time champ for the Yukon Huskies, runs to center

1:33.4

court, Phil, the security guard for the Blazers, has the game on his phone.

1:38.7

And Donovan Klingin's like, what happened?

1:41.5

And he's looking at the phone and he got to watch the replay of it.

1:46.3

Donovan Klingin is just jumping around like a kid on Christmas morning flipping out because

1:51.5

Yukon just hit the shot of the century to upset Duke at the last second.

1:56.2

And it was weird because it's Portland, you know?

1:58.6

It's in Portland.

1:59.6

And yet everybody was watching on their phone. That's how big this was. It was really cool.'s Portland, you know? It's in Portland and yet everybody was watching on

2:01.2

their phone. That's how big this was. It was really cool. Yeah, man. That's always a fun experience.

2:07.1

Especially when you consider things like that, like the players who are alums who are celebrating,

2:12.5

I know every locker room, or at least it used to, we used to all do a little March Madness

2:17.3

pool.

...

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