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All right my name is Brian, I'm an alcoholic, I've come here for like two or three years

and I said I could never get up there, I guess tonight's my chance.

So I'll just tell what it was like and what happened, what it's like now.

So you know how to remember, my mom dropped me off at preschool, I don't know if I was

three years old and I haven't been able to say here tonight so I've been nervous but

I remember I just bawled and screamed and I know preschoolers do that when they get

dropped off the school but my mom said in the car, she said, okay Brian, that's enough.

And I just, I've always had a really difficult time feeling like I fit in so that's I remember

that memory.

So yeah, in my family life, home life, many others, there was a lot of anger, there's

broken glass and crazy stuff that happened, some people's a lot worse than mine, some

people's not as bad but I always remember having a lot of fear, a lot of anger and just

fitting in with other people, it was very difficult.

I think when I was about 10 or 10 years old, 11 years old got introduced to beer the first

time I was at Antico Varsal, it was my brother and he gave me a beer and I was excellent

and I just remember I was cussing out some guy who was like 180 pounds and I just felt

like a man of steel and they had to come and calm me down but anytime I had access to

...