meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Monday Morning Podcast

Monday Morning Podcast 9-26-16

Monday Morning Podcast

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.832.8K Ratings

🗓️ 26 September 2016

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill rambles about books, sex suits and road rage.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It is time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, September 26th, 2016. What's going on?

0:12.6

Oh, why? Yesterday, September 25th was the 36th anniversary of the death of John Bonham. Why do I know that? Because I'm a nerd.

0:22.2

All right, let's get into the podcast this week. Now, I don't have a lot of time to fucking sit here and try and brighten up your goddamn Monday.

0:32.2

Okay? I've been doing these podcasts since 2007. All right? At some point, I have to kick you people out of the nest and you have to learn how to find your own chuckles, your own happiness on a Monday.

0:49.2

I don't know. I'm talking about anyways, let's just get right into it. People last Thursday evening, if you owned a television and you had it on, okay? If you're not one of those annoying readers, you don't know me, you know, annoying readers are they can't just go and do it. They got to let everybody know, you know, I don't watch TV. Oh, good. Good. Well, guess what? Now we have nothing to talk about because I don't give a fuck about, you know, this either so little I read. I can't even name an author.

1:19.0

Other than like Stephen King, and I know he's not one of the classics. You know, well, maybe he will be someday. Maybe the dead zone will be right up there with.

1:29.0

Who's the guys fuck Christmas addicts? Is that the guy who started the revolutionary war? Was he the first guy who was killed?

1:36.0

Or did he write Scrooge? What the fuck was that guy's name? Well, now I know it was Christopher, it was Christopher something. I read the fucking book. I read it. You know, I read a bunch of classics as I was sick of people bringing them up.

1:48.0

And I didn't know what they were. You know, the prints in the popper. I read that one. I read the.

1:55.0

The kind of monocrystal, which was like a fucking 600 page book. I read the whole fucking thing.

2:01.0

With my ADD. I mean, it took it took forever. Great book. I give it a thumbs up.

2:09.0

I couldn't get through the fucking thing because they kept breaking down, wailing like I had nothing better to do. Right? Like there was no TV and internet knowledge shit in my life.

2:19.0

Like back the books from back then, if you get like the original copy of it, like how it was actually written, you understand the astounding level of fucking boredom.

2:30.0

You know, you just, you had no, you didn't have a car, you didn't have any money. You'd be lucky if you had fucking shoes. Okay. And if somebody was nice enough to actually teach you how to read.

2:41.0

You had a book like your heart was fucking racing.

2:46.0

Oh my god, I have a book.

2:49.0

Right? And you fucking, you get excited. You know, what was that book? One of those Huck Finn Tom Sawyer things.

2:56.0

I give you white wash. The whole fence will give you an apple. He was excited.

3:01.0

There weren't any snickers, right? It was a fucking apple.

3:06.0

Nature's sugar as they say, right? And he was all fucking a dependent whole fucking fence for an apple. I love the apples are free.

3:13.0

Just walk up to the goddamn tree and you take it, right?

3:17.0

Just like this country was taken, right? We just walked right up. We just took it. Hey, you guys are already here. Yeah.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from All Things Comedy, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of All Things Comedy and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.