4.8 • 32.8K Ratings
🗓️ 20 July 2015
⏱️ 67 minutes
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0:00.0 | Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast for Monday. |
0:07.0 | I don't know what fucking day it was. It July 20th. Is that what it's going to be? Is that what it's going to be? |
0:15.0 | Pow. Yeah, that's what it's going to be. It's Sunday night. |
0:19.0 | July 19th, when I'm doing this, I am an Ottawa. I'm in my hotel room. I am stone sober. |
0:26.0 | They have Cuban cigars here. I have not smoked one. And I am sitting in bed right now with a plate full of raw vegetables that was supposed to come with hummus, but came with ranch dressing instead. |
0:40.0 | So I'm trying to avoid that. So I can somehow make my goal of being down to a buck 80 this week, which I think I am. |
0:49.0 | But I don't have access to a fucking scale here. That's what it is. That's where I'm at. This is what booze in and eaten pizza and beer and all this other fucking horseshit. |
1:01.0 | This is where it gets you at some point. You got to pay the pipe or and sit here with a bunch of vegetables. |
1:08.0 | Eating this fucking crap. I want a punch or rabbit right now. I don't even know what's not there fault. Is that a default that I ate the way I ate it like a fucking rabbit then, you know. |
1:23.0 | I don't know. I'm so excited like a minute ago. Now I'm just fucking, you know, I'm just what's the point of living? |
1:34.0 | If you're not killing yourself slowly, what is the point of living? What is the point of living? Think about it. All the shit that you know what? |
1:44.0 | That's going to kill you someday. That's the best fucking time, right? Smoking, drinking, eating, fucking some horror. |
1:54.0 | No, sorry. I need to watch my mouth here because I'm in a nice hotel. I just don't want to disturb the people around us. That's the way anyways. |
2:04.0 | This is just one of these deals. This sucks right now, but in the morning I'm going to be psyched. |
2:09.0 | You know, oh, I wanted a burger. Oh, oh, Billy fucking pasty, flabby, tits wanted a burger. No burger for you. There will be no burger for you. |
2:20.0 | I'm not going to eat or drink the entire podcast, but I just had some celery, right? |
2:25.0 | Which celery I think this chemical makeup is like air and water as far as I know with some green dye number five. |
2:33.0 | But I got one of those celery hairs in the back of my throat right now. |
2:37.0 | Ah, you fucking veggie con. How do you guys do it? You know, like a true vegetarian. Well, they don't sit around eating this shit. They actually have better meals. |
2:45.0 | You know, I love when you meet like a fat vegetarian. It's just like you're fucking yourself over on two levels right now. |
2:53.0 | You know what I mean? It's like you're not eating meat and that sucks. And then you're not even good food. You're just sitting there eating like Doritos. |
3:03.0 | It's actually good. Don't tell him, you know, it's too many fucking people. Let him die. That's what I say. |
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