Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, March 19, 2012.

In like a land, I like a line.

Um, it's fucking cold out here in Los Angeles. If you're wondering about the weather report yesterday,

um, cold does not bug me.

Unless I'm in Los Angeles, then it bugs me. You know, if I'm in Cleveland, if I'm in Boston, if I'm in New York, if I'm in Philly,

I don't give a fuck if it's cold. I'll put on a pocket. Right?

But when I'm out here in LA, it really bothers me.

It's just something annoying about being cold while looking at a palm tree.

Just fucking bugs the shit out of me. It doesn't make any sense. You know.

It's like seeing a skinny Santa Claus. It's like, what are you doing? I thought you're supposed to be a tub of shit.

How can you be jolly if you're in shape? If you haven't met a jolly skinny person, you know, there's some, there's a certain level of being fat where you just find you just, I don't know.

I don't know if you're just psyched because you're eating cookies and you don't give a shit, but you can still tie your shoes like that's that level of fat you want to be at where you're eating peeing.

And you're eating cookies and yeah, you're fat, but you know, you put on a sweater and you go, oh, oh, you got rosy cheeks and nobody cares.

Nobody's looking at you. Nobody's judging you. Then when you go beyond it, when you go beyond it is when your stomach comes out from underneath that sweater and everybody can see it, you know,

but you can't see it right because you're so fat and even when the wind blows, you don't notice it because you're all warm with all that blubber, you know, there's that there's a there's a fucking, I don't know, there's there's a sweet spot of being fat

where it when no one's making funny of being fat and you're eating all shit food, but nobody's trashing you.

So I guess that that's what makes you jolly, you know, oh, I get to eat all this shit food and nobody's judging me.

Then once you go beyond it, then you start fucking crying, you know, on one of those reality shows, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I don't even want to be doing this podcast right now. I'm not even lying. I'm not even gonna lie to you. I can't even spit it out and fucking exhaust it, but I got a bunch of shit to do tomorrow, which is today by the time you listen to it.

You know, I really don't feel like doing this shit, so it's gonna be quick. I'm getting right to the fucking point.

All right, I already solved why certain levels of fat people are jolly.

You know, right there, if you guys weren't so selfish, that could take up your whole fucking week. You know, but not you guys.

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