Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday December 2nd,

2019, what's going on? How are ya? December 2nd, everybody, it's official. Get your Christmas lights up.

Because it's the holiday season. Don't be, don't be, don't.

You know, it's funny. They don't even have to do those fucking stories anymore of like, it is absolute pandemonium

down here at the mall. There are no parking spots. People are screaming and they're trying to grab the last microtuts.

Remember, microtuts? They don't have to do that anymore, right? Because everybody just orders from Amazon.

Okay, and if you think San is elves all over work, I don't remember the last time a Santa elf got crushed to death by a forklift.

Here's the thing, everybody, why don't you think about all of these poor people who have to work like double time,

14 hour shifts, whatever the fuck it is they're doing over at that goddamn hardware store. You know, go to the mall.

Huh? Just get in the SUV that you didn't need. Go down to the fucking mall by the shit you don't want. Give it to the people you don't like.

So some of these people over there at Amazon, you know, can give their lower backs a break for a second.

Jesus, what a fucking slave driver that guy must be a legend and a legend slave driver.

I don't know, I don't remember the last time a slave got benefits. Next question. Have you ever been to Epstein's island?

Make sure she accidentally jokes to death the next 24 hours. Thank you.

Anyway, so that's the deal. I'm an asshole. I still drive around and I go to toy stores. That's my big fucking move.

It's actually, you know, it's finally paid off after doing it for half a fucking century. That's not true because I got my driver's license at 16 of 51 for 35 years.

I've been driving down to the fucking malls. You know, December 2nd. Everybody just sits at home, clicking on this stupid bills, driving down to the fucking stores.

I just don't know. I can't this like do the internet. It's fucking overwhelming to me.

So I just stay on like three different sites. I go to YouTube, I do the Twitter, I do the Instagram, and I think that's my world.

Oh, and I do Google News when I run out of shit to talk about here on the podcast other than that, I stay away from it. That's not true. I go to stop hub.

All right. I go to the Moto GP, then I go to the four major sports websites. I do that. All right. Whatever. It's still.

I was born in a small town. I can breathe in a small town. So yeah, I got to start my Christmas shopping, but I am up to my fucking neck.

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