Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, October 22nd,

2012, and I know what you're thinking. Bill, why does it sound like you're inside of a fucking tin can? Well, I'll tell you why.

I'm in fucking Australia. I just plugged my goddamn mixer into the fucking adapter and it just shorted it out. All right, it's my fault.

What was I thinking running such a gigantic podcast such as the Monday morning podcast with a $99 mixer?

And I did say gigantic podcast. This is a big podcast. It's fucking big to me every week on iTunes, where number 37.

You know, like that I'm the only podcaster who doesn't lie. All these cuts out there. Every fucking one of them. Dude, I got like a million downloads.

I'm number one. I'll go fuck yourself. You're gonna get number one in your ass.

I'm here to tell you that I am number 18 and I'm proud of it.

So anyways, I don't have any headphones. I don't have any microphone. I'm recording this thing through garage band and this is how it's gonna sound.

All right, and if you don't want to listen to it, just hit stop because it's not gonna get any fucking better than this.

All right, you like how I'm kind of yelling at you because my mix because I bought a $99 mixer to run the 47th top 47th podcast on the fucking iTunes.

All right, let's get right down to it. Lance Armstrong officially fucking stripped of all of his goddamn titles and Nike has the fucking balls.

The fucking balls to walk away from Lance. You didn't walk away from Tiger Woods. You know, after all the bullshit he was doing.

So I guess if Lance just fucked around on his wife, you know, you still would have had a swish above his fucking left-hit. You wouldn't have a problem with it.

Hey, Nike, where the fuck do you get off having any sort of moral stance about cheating or not cheating?

You know, if you're taking a look at your company lately, you think Lance doesn't have the right to fucking go around handing out those live strong bracelets because you think he cheated.

Well, what about you guys? What about you, Nike? Just do it. What does that mean? Is that what you say to the children who sow your sneakers together and El Salvador?

I don't want to sow an eject, do it.

Yeah, where the fuck does Nike get? I mean, you know what it is? I love that that's when Nike drops them and it gets to look like they don't tolerate cheating.

It's all about money with those cons. They don't give a flying fuck whether he cheated, whether he didn't cheat.

All right, when it looked emphatically like this guy had been busted, they walk away like, well, that's not what we're about.

If anybody out there can explain to me what fucking Nike is about other than money and standing on the heads of eight-year-olds,

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