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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Monday 3.2.26

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 2 March 2026

⏱️ 121 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you’re talking to someone in the hospital, maybe stay away from the phrase ‘buy a coffin.’ Lazlo and SlimFast discuss the US-Israeli strikes on Iran. Lazlo was disappointed to find no hot chicks with beads when he was in the military. There was an awkward moment on a TX local news station. SlimFast has a new True Crime story (kinda). Is Travis Kelce going to the Giants? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.8

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:31.2

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.7

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:41.9

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.7

Yo!

0:48.3

How are you, man?

0:49.7

I've never been better.

0:50.7

Oh, great.

0:51.4

How are you?

0:52.1

Great, no problems.

0:53.0

Yeah?

0:53.3

Come my Ivy coffee. Hyvie coffee. Oh, a little beepish in. I see the Ivy. Some allergies. never been better oh great how are you great no problems yeah my ivy coffee

0:54.3

ivy coffee oh a little beepiz in i see some allergy medicine yeah everything you need to get a

1:01.2

monday morning started right is uh is today the big day or is uh tomorrow well it felt like it

1:08.9

had been a really long time since you'd had to do like a checkup with your doctor to find out how everything's going. I have to look. I do have to go early. Is that today? And you said that you had one this week sometime. Yeah, it's today? Yeah, it's today. I haven't checked my calendar yet. Is it take a mental note? It is in that locker memory. Oh, good. Thank you. I mean, am I right, though?

1:29.3

It's been a while since I had a doctor, yeah.

1:31.6

When Laslo got sick, that was Thanksgiving.

1:34.8

Yeah, I was there all the time.

1:36.0

And you went into the hospital on Thanksgiving,

...

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