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Net Positive with John Crist

Moms vs Mermaids

Net Positive with John Crist

John Crist

Stand-up, Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.81.2K Ratings

🗓️ 15 September 2022

⏱️ 76 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

There are two things that are absolutely certain in this episode; first, we are team Ariel 2022, and second,  Mexican restaurants need to relax and shorten their menus. Intro (00:00)The human body goes to work (00:54)Show stories w/ John (05:20)Little mermaid (29:00)Profile pic rules (39:26)Queen Elizabeth (48:05)Mexican restaurant menus are too big (56:56)Fact check (1:07:10)-----WATCH 'What Are We Doing' (Full Special) HERE: https://youtu.be/0a3nPKvhonUPREORDER John's First Book 'Delete That' HERE: https://johncristcomedy.com/deletethat/ TICKETS: https://johncristcomedy.com/tour/Appleton, WI - 09/15 - 17Spokane, WA - 09/29-10/1New Brunswick, NJ - 10/6-8Virginia Beach, VA - 10/21-22Dayton, OH - 11/11-12 - SOLD OUT-----Catch the full video podcast on YouTube, subscribe to our new clips channel, and follow us on social media (@netpositivepodcast) for clips, bonus content, and updates throughout the week.Email us at netpositive@johncristcomedy.comFOLLOW JOHN ON:InstagramTwitterTikTokFacebookYouTubePRODUCED BY:Alex Lagos / Lagos Creative Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I mean yeah sure it was a little weird but on the net on the on the

0:06.8

it was a positive was a positive you cannot be serious.

0:13.0

On the net, it's a positive.

0:15.0

Oh, let's go.

0:17.0

Oh, let's go, ladies and gentlemen, this week on the Net Positive Podcast, we get into it.

0:28.4

Let's see, what do we discuss? First, the worst thing they could have possibly ever imagined happening to me on stage happened this

0:35.0

week in Greensboro, North Carolina.

0:37.2

Then we cover R.I.P. the death of Queen Elizabeth the second and my visit to a Mexican restaurant over the weekend and ladies

0:47.2

how long after you get married should you be allowed to keep your wedding photo as your profile photo.

0:55.7

We discussed that.

0:56.7

Little Mermaid's black apparently.

0:58.7

Well I don't know what she is because she's a cartoon, but the Little Mermaid is coming

1:01.6

out this week. We discussed discuss that we get into it all this

1:05.3

week net positive baby let's go We have a first sponsor of the show. You know what it is? I say the sponsor is the show.

1:18.0

You know what it is? Who? I say the sponsor is the human body.

1:23.4

Oh, you know why?

1:24.8

Why?

1:25.8

This thing, if it just goes to work.

1:28.8

That's true.

1:29.8

Like I've had all kind of ailments and I feel like I smashed my fingers the other day in my garage door.

1:36.0

And like whatever like the cells are in my fingers they're just like been chilling like on like break.

1:41.0

Like doing nothing and then they're like I smash them

...

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