MOMENT | The ‘Good Girl’ Trap That’s Burning Mothers Out

Motherkind

Zoe Blaskey

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.8 • 863 Ratings

🗓️ 2 February 2026

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Have you ever felt like you’re trying so hard to be a good mum… but somehow it still never feels like enough? In this Moment, Zoe talks about good girl conditioning – the deeply ingrained beliefs many of us carry into motherhood without realising it. The need to be agreeable, to keep the peace, to over-give, and to measure our worth by how much we do. When these patterns come into motherhood, they don’t disappear – they intensify. Suddenly, we’re not just trying to be a good girl, we’re trying to be a perfect mum. And that can leave us exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from ourselves. This episode is about recognising that there is nothing wrong with you. These are learned behaviours – and they can be unlearned. In this Moment, we explore: What good girl conditioning is – and how it shows up in motherhood Why people-pleasing and perfectionism lead to burnout, not fulfilment How meeting your own needs and setting boundaries creates real confidence If you’ve ever felt burnt out from trying to be everything to everyone, this one’s for you. If you liked this moment, listen to the full episode: Breaking Free From Perfectionism and People-Pleasing Remember to subscribe to Motherkind — it helps more mothers find the show and keeps our community growing. Feeling different since becoming a mother? Get clarity on who you’re becoming now and download your FREE Matrescence Cheat Sheet Connect with Zoe: Follow Zoe on Instagram Get Zoe’s Sunday Times bestselling book, 'Motherkind: A New Way to Thrive in a World of Endless Expectations’ This Motherkind episode is sponsored by: Headline sponsor Wild Nutrition, the brand raising the bar for women’s supplements. Want to feel the Food-Grown difference yourself? Get 50% off for three months at wildnutrition.com/motherkind. Ts and Cs apply. For a £100 sponsored job credit, visit Indeed.com/ Motherkind Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Yeah, I'm one of their biggest fans. I've got all the vinyl. First saw them at a tiny little place in Camden. Then as festival headliners a few years back, now that was special. So there's no chance I'd miss their world tour in London, Lisbon and LA. Good thing I've been saving.
0:19.9	From down the road to across the globe, saving gets you there.
0:23.8	Join the millions of people already saving with NS&I.
0:27.4	Woo!
0:28.3	Visit NS&I.com.
0:43.1	What is good girl conditioning? Well, it isn't actually a condition. It's not a personality type. It is a collection of learned behaviours and it's really linked to perfectionism and people pleasing.
0:51.1	It's a belief system that says be agreeable. Don't rock the boat. Overgive to others.
0:57.8	Don't ask for help. Your worth is how much you do, not who you are. And if any of this sounds familiar,
1:06.2	then this conditioning, this programming can turn you into someone who struggles with boundaries,
1:12.9	avoids conflict, like anything, works endlessly for approval, just keeps going and going and
1:19.9	going, feels guilty for resting and seeks external validation. And all of those things were me before I could see what was happening and start to
1:30.8	chip away at these behaviours to actually start feeling good day to day. And what is fascinating
1:37.4	to me is that when you become a mum, if you bring these set of behaviours into motherhood,
1:42.4	when you become a mum, amplifies it's like putting
1:45.6	fuel on the fire because now we're not just trying to be a good girl we're trying to be super
1:50.9	mum too and i really see this in so many of our community if we bring those hard on ourselves
1:58.6	perfectionist people pleasing that drive to just keep going and going and
2:03.2	going. When we bring those behaviours into motherhood, it becomes extremely difficult because it is
2:07.7	so intense and full on, isn't it? So how do you know if you have this programming and this conditioning?
2:17.0	So here's some of the things that based on my
2:20.2	research and I did a lot of this research for the book, Motherkind, and also research with my
2:25.2	clients and community and of course myself. The first one is avoiding conflict. So you might have a
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