I just absolutely love it. And I want to dive a bit deeper into this, because this is another thing that you talk about so brilliantly, is that often the time when we most want to leap into that criticism, you might use the word triggered, is when it's something that we were shamed for as children or something that we were shut down for.

And this is why I just adore your work, because I'm really into thinking about cycle breaking

and just watching my own reactions. I'm like, wow, this is actually nothing to do with what's in front of me here.

This is to do something. Can you help us unpick that big sort of web?

I'm imagining a big ball of wool.

Sometimes it's like pulling the threads, isn't it?

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in our kids and the way that, like, our kids kind of become actors in our own play.

You're like, whoa, okay. The circuit in me, that just reacted to a behavior in them,

that circuit predated their existence. Like, I was probably in my body. I got

triggered when they had a tantrum. But that circuit lived in my body way before they were even alive.

So I think it's easy to go into, oh, so it's my fault mode. I always think, like, there's

something between it's my fault or my kid's fault. Can we just have a world where it's nobody's

...