Hey, Jordan Harbinger here from the art of charm. Welcome to many sod Monday. You're weekly shot of personal development espresso speaking of which I had a few too many shots of this morning because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and decided to overcaffeinate which by the way doesn't actually

help so that's not the tip this week. I'm happy to be here with you kicking off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement immediately that'll make you more magnetic and effective and today we're back with Marsha from yes yes, Marsha

you've got a little bit more for us, especially with storytelling which you're really good at we love to hear from you on that.

I am obsessed with storytelling and you should be to because storytelling literally changes your listeners brains like if you tell a good story it's not just that they remember you better and like you more it also floods their brain with dopamine which helps with information processing and oxytocin which makes them trust you more wow so people like and we're basically

drugging the person we're talking to if we tell a good story it's like if the caffeine had worked for you this morning except you don't have to put any caffeine in your system and you like

everyone who is around you right and it didn't make me have to pee 78 times. Okay got it. That's really the best thing about storytelling is the bladder control right you've

sold me already. So storytelling is amazing when you tell a good story the person listening to the story when you do it well their brain literally thinks that

they are inside the story like you talk about smelling that coffee and their old factory cortex will light up so your brain start going in sync with each other which is really powerful connection but loads of people tell stories really badly and the ways that they tell stories

badly people tend to think the worst thing that you do is to put too many details in but actually the worst thing you can do as a storyteller is not put enough of the right

details in and the right details are talking about how you felt and I know as like North Americans and Brits we don't super love talking about our emotions that's my people's fault I'm sorry but actually when you talk about

emotions that's how people can relate to your story and they can relate to any story because I haven't had every experience that you've had Jordan like I didn't have 12 shots of coffee this morning but I know how it feels to wake up on the wrong

side of the bed and then to like try and do something about it so immediately I can relate to your story you know it can be a story about running away from the KGB and jumping over a

bear pit or it can be a story about going to the corner store to buy a kind of soda if you tell me how you feel then I can relate to that story and also if you have

emotions in it then two other really important things happen one is that it does all the stuff that I was talking about the brain

science like you need tension you need emotions to build tension and tension makes your blood frame with dopamine and with oxytocin and the other thing is

tension keeps people listening because when you have emotions we're intrigued like I could say to you at the beginning of my story I could say I'm sat in my car

outside my girlfriend's house and you would be like awesome have a great time but if I said I'm sat in my car outside my girlfriend's house and I'm terrified

straight away you're like why are you terrified what's happened what did your girlfriend do to you and it builds that tension and it's the same with like another mistake people make is the beginning of your stories is the most important real estate

because that's where people decide am I going to keep listening or am I going to zone out and just make my face look like I'm listening and so often with the beginning of stories we think we need to overload with context we think we need that

person to know absolutely everything that happened into our in our life up until that point whereas actually if you start in an action scene you tell us how you felt but you don't tell us why you felt it you create an

information gap so if you say I'm sat outside my girlfriend's house in the car and I'm terrified you create an information gap because we don't know why you're

terrified and we want to know and as humans we hate an information gap it's the reason why those buzzfeed headlines work on us when it says you'll never believe number six and we want to know what number six is it's the reason why

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