Minisode Monday #63 | Are You Setting the Bar Too High?

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 24 July 2017

⏱️ 3 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Never let it be said that The Art of Charm would discourage you from being the best you can be. But have you considered the merits of lowering the bar? Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Setting your bar for success too high can result in the opposite of the desired effect. Rather than putting yourself in the path of a disempowering emotional state, consider the merits of lowering the bar. Focusing on goals that are far away or can only be experienced in a distant (or alternative) future means we never really experience rewards for our efforts. Instead of saying something like, "I'll be happy when I'm thin and muscular," say, "I'll be happy when I go to the gym." Immediately achievable goals set by a lower bar are far more effective in getting you to your desired target emotion than the cycle of failure triggered by a bar set too high. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text AOC to 38470. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: [email protected] (he actually reads everything)! Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-63-are-you-setting-the-bar-too-high/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Catch season two of Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath on A&E! Listen to The Art of Charm, Forbes Network, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, Jordan Harbinger here from the Art of Charm. Welcome to Mini-Sod Monday. This is your weekly
0:04.8	shot of personal development espresso. I'm happy to be here with you kicking off the week with
0:09.2	something quick and actionable that you can implement right away. That'll make you more magnetic and
0:14.0	effective. And today, you know, just me, you're rolling solo with Jordan. I want to tell you this
0:20.2	week lower the bar. What? That doesn't make any sense. Look, a lot of us put ourselves in disempowering
0:25.4	emotional states or set ourselves up to be placed in disempowering emotional states by setting the
0:31.6	bar way too high. What I mean by this is a lot of times we tell ourselves something like, well,
0:36.7	I'll be happy when I'm rich or I'll be happy when I'm thin. I lost all this weight. I'll be happy
0:40.8	when I'm muscular. I'll be happy when I got a six pack, whatever. The problem with this is that
0:44.9	these are emotional states that are dependent on something that is either far away or can only be
0:51.5	experienced in a distant or even alternate future. Of course, often even when we do achieve these
0:58.8	particular goals, we find that we are still not happy. And even if we were emotional states such as
1:05.0	happy, sad, excited, whatever, these are by definition limited in the amount of time that we can
1:10.9	experience that. So what do we do about this? Lower the bar. Instead of saying, I'll be happy when I'm
1:17.9	thin and muscular, say, I'll be happy when I go to the gym. Going to the gym is much more easily
1:24.2	achievable. It's an immediately achievable goal. Therefore, if you set the bar low to something
1:29.4	more achievable, more achievable goal that gets to the result, the desired target emotion,
1:34.6	you can get there much more quickly and easily. This is much more empowering and leads to a positive
1:40.2	cycle of success in getting to positive emotions. I'll be happy when I start eating right. I'll be
1:45.6	happy when I go to the gym instead of all be happy when I'm thin and fit. This is a much easier
1:51.5	way to get to positive emotion versus starting a cycle of failure, where no matter what you do now,
1:58.3	right now today, you can't possibly become skinny today. Therefore, you will always remain unhappy
	...

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