Minisode Monday #42 | Stop Reliving Embarrassment

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Education, Health & Fitness, Business

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 27 February 2017

⏱️ 3 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this Minisode Monday, we talk about the pointless habit we all have of mentally reliving embarrassing moments in our lives and what we can do to stop it. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: There are times when we all mull over embarrassing moments from our past. Like worrying, it's a pointless exercise. Ivan Pavlov proved that he could anchor a dog's feelings to stimuli. As humans, we're even better at doing this to ourselves. We beat ourselves up over a story we've built around a feeling and reinforce this negative pattern. The challenge: every time you start mulling over an event that makes you feel bad about yourself, try to remind yourself of a moment in which you triumphed -- an event that made you feel good. Try to think of something new each week that's positive and helpful toward breaking the habit of gravitating toward the negative. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Forbes List, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm42/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey Jordan Harbanger here from the Art of Charm.
0:02.6	Welcome to Mini-Sode Monday.
0:04.0	I'm happy to be here with you kicking off the week with something quick and actionable
0:07.8	that you can implement right away that will make you more magnetic and effective.
0:11.8	Today, look, you ever keep punishing yourself by reliving bad things,
0:15.8	embarrassing moments, rejections and breakups and stuff like that I know I do?
0:19.7	We often do this because we want to avoid making the same mistake again.
0:24.0	It's probably some tricky evolutionary psychology going on there and I understand that,
0:28.1	but I'm here to tell you from experience, stop doing it.
0:31.3	See, when we experience feelings both good and bad, they're really ephemeral.
0:35.7	That's a fancy way of saying that they don't last long.
0:38.1	And this is especially true if we just leave them alone and we don't roll them around in our head all the time.
0:43.5	This problem really picks up steam when we start to create a story or narrative around a certain feeling or set of feelings.
0:50.4	The feeling is usually camouflaged as a person or disguised as an event,
0:54.2	but since those people aren't there and the event has actually passed,
0:57.9	let's just recognize it for what it really is, which is a feeling.
1:01.3	And once we start to build that story around that feeling, we can really keep it going.
1:05.4	We can really let it in, mull it over, savor it like a piece of hard candy,
1:09.8	of, you know, turd flavored hard candy, maybe.
1:12.2	Does the name Pavlov Ringabel?
1:14.0	See what I did there?
1:14.9	He proved that we could anchor feelings to stimuli.
	...

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