Settle down, settle down, stand to greet your principal students.

Quit that blabbering and put that dildo down.

I'm sure you're all wondering what you're doing here after school hours.

Well, I've heard what you've been saying. You don't think I read the notes in the bathroom stalls?

Those stalls are reserved for serious criticism,

not your sophomoric witticism.

I may have a myopic astigmatism,

but I will not tolerate your indulgent exhibitionism.

I've sniffed each corner of this butt-fucked school, and right here are your quote-unquote

reviews of what you think of me.

See Lyspectorites, straight, choked on a nut listening to episode one.

Do you think that's funny?

Frankie's father died choking on a Jordan almond.

Um, actually it was cancer.

Silence, I will not hear otherwise.

Next, I am laughing, I am crying.

I am biting my nails for episode two, says, share my opinion.

Well, nobody asked for it it why don't you just go

start a blog next by true life Madonna yeah this is lit important content

don't sleep on gay future how about you stopped sleeping on your desk during

English class because you clearly can't speak it you

rough-toothed sweaty ruffian Ruth Bader Ginsburg writes really really good ah

...