Something I'm not quite sure many white folks understand is that your black friend is probably also

the black friend to a lot of other white people as well.

Simply being in the minority numerically means that we're going to interact with a lot more white people than white people interact with black people.

And so understand that your friend who you may sort of utilize as a confessional to sort of bring up your journey of racial

awareness to, well that person may hear it from you and three or four or five other

different white people as well. So you got to understand that for a black person or

other people of color being that one friend who is a racial or ethnic minority can be exhausting.

And so what I would say is approach it sensitively, approach it with the idea that whatever burdens or concern or urgency you feel,

your friend may have already felt that for a long time and may already be taking on the burdens of a lot of

other people at the same time as well. So all that means is, number one, do your own work. To the

extent possible.

You can build your knowledge base.

There are other white people you can talk to

who are further along on this journey

and don't put all the work on black people. Secondly, if you do need to process with your black

friend or a person of color, ask them. Give them an out. Don't make it seem like

well you're in this crisis situation and if this person doesn't respond you're going to spiral or something like that.

Approach it sensitively and say hey if you have time, if you have the emotional bandwidth I'd love to talk with you

about this particular topic and and honestly help them understand that you mean

it when you say that they can say no.

And then from there, just be very careful and sensitive.

Understand that either you unloading your problems onto them or even them sharing their

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