All right. Here we go. Why is everybody so happy? Everybody's so happy. It's like a conspiracy to just look happy in front of me. Everybody said, let's, if you see David Feldman, just look happy, look happy. These are just some of the stories I'll be covering. McDonald's has a child labor problem.

Apparently, kids are insisting on cash and are no longer willing to accept their payments in

happy meals. Meanwhile, Americans aren't making enough babies or or as McDonald's calls this, a labor shortage.

Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson says he doesn't want migrants voting.

Spoiler alert, they're not.

But don't worry, Speaker Johnson.

Once Donald Trump becomes president, nobody will be voting.

You've heard of paying child support?

Well, now Republicans want deadbeat dads to start paying fetus support.

Yes, that's right, fetus support.

Hey, don't be so quick to knock it. If Americans weren't willing to pay for

someone who doesn't exist, there'd be no organized religion in this country. Supreme Court

Justice Clarence Thomas says he finds Washington disgusting. The feelings mutual, Clarence. After years hosting his own talk show on WABC

radio, Rudy Giuliani has been fired because he refused to stop lying about the 2020

presidential election. Well, what did you think he was going to talk about, WABC, when you hired him?

Make up tips.

All of a sudden, conservative talk radio is worried about the truth.

Your number one program is Sean Hannity, who spreads lies like their butter, and his audience is Chris Christie's morning coffee cake.

That was a stretch.

Melania makes it clear that she doesn't want her child to grow up to be like the rest of

Donald Trump's sons.

Melania, you do realize that the Trump sons never grew up.

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