Hi, my name is Mike Berbiglia and I feel terrified about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

I can tell that we are going to meet friends.

Hello there and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend podcast where I use whatever power I have left in show business to make people,

literally make people that I admire be my friends joined as always by my compatriots, my assistant,

sona, move sesian. Yes, am I saying that correctly? Move sesian? Yeah, I'm hoping after 12 years you've learned how to pronounce my name.

Conan. It's move sesian. I believe move sesian. Yeah, why are you saying you believe?

But that's not your real first name, is it? No, we've talked about this. It's Talline. Thanks for reminding me.

And yeah, that's not my real name, but it's my middle name. Well, Conan is not my real first name. So there you go.

Oh, what's your first name? Bruce, I am Bruce O'Brien. I wish. Bruce O'Brien would be cool.

No, it's not a good name, Bruce O'Brien. My first name saved my ass because it's like that song that Johnny Cash sang a boy named Sue,

where his dad calls him Sue and then he turns into this amazing fighter because everyone wants to fight him.

The fact that my name was Conan meant that I had to develop some kind of quick physical strength or a quick sort of wit.

I don't think I developed either, but I did have to be quick on my feet in various ways.

And so I do think my name saved my ass. What about you, Matt Gourley, producer extraordinaire? Do you like your name? Do you like Matt?

It's kind of boring. And I always got girly instead of Gourley when I was a kid. I might have talked about that before.

And then when I went to Ireland to visit my old like family home set, I said, hi, I'm Matt Gourley.

And he goes, no, it's girly. And he they were right all along, all those bastards in elementary school.

Yeah. And you know what? Even if it wasn't, the Irish would love to tell you it was Gourley.

Oh, maybe that's what they're doing. They're just they love to take the piss out of you.

I'm back and I have a few extra things to say. What? What happened? A few extra things to say.

How did he get back in here? I hated this experience. How did he get back in?

I can get whatever I want to. I'm the past code. Oh my God.

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