You know, I was shameful of my story. I didn't tell hardly anybody through my 30 years of that. I didn't tell anybody. I mean, it was very secretive. That was a shame of it. Yeah. I mean, am I wrong in thinking he must have replayed that day in your head like a thousand times? Almost every day in my life. Because you're an artist in my eyes. How does it not affect your artistry? I always struggle with the idea of had it not happened, would I be where I am today? And I can't say that I would be. I don't know if I would be. I think everything that happens in life is usually for a reason and it does go on to Shepooyor today. Okay, welcome. Thank you very much for being here. The special edition. We're in my T-house in Highland Park, Illinois to talk all things Curtis. Excited to be here. Thank you. Thank you. This is kind of a weird preamble, but I think it's sort of necessary because normally when I look at somebody's life and one of the reasons I started this show is

I love talking about people who are great at what they do.

And I just want to sort of explore that, you know, and in the case of food, I mean, I'm totally a punter. I don't understand the world at all. My wife is a foodie and, you know, my wife. But for me, it's all kind of goes above my head. you know, the classic, somebody comes to the table, you know,

the mushrooms are sourced from here and I'm just like,

I don't know, it's lost, right?

Yeah.

But, you know But you have this kind of unspeakable tragedy in the early part of your life that on the surface level doesn't have any direct correlation to your work, your life's work. But of course, it must have some connectivity. And we have a similar childhood as a sir. And in my life, I mean, my childhood became such a part of my work. And it was part of what attracted people to me because I was being so open about things that most most people didn't talk about. And of course you've written this book, Fireproof, which is out. And of course you talk about it in there, but I found myself struggling in preparing to talk to you. It's like, how do you put these two pieces together? Sure. So the reason I started there is not that I don't want to talk about those things, but I'm very interested in your creative life. And yet over here in the corner, but you have been transparent about it, is this terrible tragedy? Sure. So, at least maybe by saying that it gives some context for why I'm asking what I'm asking. So I'm curious, you're a Midwestern person. Ohio. Absolutely. And you seem to bounce between Colorado and Ohio. What was your cultural life like when you were young? I mean, what world do you remember growing up in? You know, I guess for me, like my happiest moments were in Colorado. Okay. I spent my first 13 years in Colorado Springs. And for me, those were the happiest moments of my life. We were surrounded by family all the time. I think my father was in a really good place there mentally. My mother as well. I mean, there was certainly moments. Sure, but it was it was it was it the I

don't know, you know, for us in Chicago, like, you know, Colorado sounds like, you know, it's mountains in nature. Yeah. But you probably know you grew up in like a normal suburb, but I'm saying was it was it the outdoor life? Was it Colorado back then wasn't as populous? You grew up, you know, you're born in mid 75, right? 75, I was born in 75.

Yeah, so the world you grew up in was like, you know, the Reagan 80s.

Sure.

You know, America by born in mid 75, right? 75, I was born in 75. Yeah, so the world you grew up in was like, you know,

the Reagan 80s, you know, America, by and large, was considered a safe place. Yes. The neighborhoods were safe, at least my neighborhood. I mean, we had friends, we were out till 1011 a block at night playing hide and seek. So you're thinking of that? Is it just that kind of romantic notion of what America was like back then.

Yeah.

It's kind of what you wish you had for your children today,

because we fear of just letting them out the front door in this day. And back then, I mean, we ran an neighborhood, we walked to and from school. My parents were always working. So what around you was attractive? Was it music? Was it art? Was it somebody that made great food? Like what first registered in your mind as culture? I think friends more than anything, just being able to stay over somebody's house and play video games. Well, we didn't have video games at my house, but the weekends, I can play video games with somewhere else. And we could run the neighborhood, we could

ride bicycles and do things like that. That was my upbringing. And for me, that was life.

That's what it was. It was skiing in the wintertime because the mountains, of course, were right there.

And then summertime was riding bicycles and just having a blast.

And I know you love music. So what's your musical reflection of that time? My dad playing hysteria, big real to real system. Pioneer, San Sui speakers, and what kind of music then, because you only went there if you love music. Yeah, and what do you've been listening to in the house? CCR, quite right, at ACDC. Okay. So like a classic classic, yeah. Some Alabama actually. Okay, great band. Oak Ridge Boys, if we're going a little country, some Johnny Cash, yeah, sure. So, and to sort of just talk about the elephant in the room, the unspeakable tragedy is you're eight, 19. And we don't have to go too deep into it, but it's sort of just talk about the elephant in the room. The unspeakable tragedy is you're 1819,

and we don't have to go too deep into it, but it's sort of bearish reflection. It's like to me, it's like in thinking about it, and I don't know what it's like to go through that, but it's like a shadow on the wall. It's always there. And of course, by you being public about it, it becomes part of your life story. Your father kills your stepmother, but she was the woman that raised you.

Correct.

So in your mind is your mother. That is my mother. There's no distinction there. Correct. Yeah. Technically not your birth mother. Right. And so was your life before that, I hear you sort of like, let's call it classic middle class life. Was your life before that? Would you classify of like let's call it classic middle class life

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