Michael Slepian on the Secret Life of Secrets: How Do We Trust Others With Our Secrets EP 146

Passion Struck with John R. Miles

John R. Miles

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4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 7 June 2022

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Michael Slepian - The Secret Life of Secrets: How Do We Trust Others With Our Secrets | Brought to you by Babbel - https://babbel.com/passionstruck. Who is Michael Slepian? Michael Slepian Ph.D. is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia University. A recipient of the Rising Star Award from the Association for Psychological Science, he is the leading expert on the psychology of secrets. Today we are discussing his book (which releases today), THE SECRET LIFE OF SECRETS: How Our Inner Worlds Shape Well-Being, Relationships, and Who We Are. His research has been covered by The New York Times, The Atlantic, The New Yorker, The Economist, The Wall Street Journal, the BBC, etc. --► Buy Michael Slepian's New Book, The Secret Life of Secrets: https://amzn.to/3GPbIaF (Amazon link) Thank you, Babbel, for sponsoring the podcast: * Babbel is the new way to learn a foreign language. Save up to 60 % off your subscription when you go to https://babbel.com/PASSIONSTRUCK. Click here for the full show notes: -- ► https://passionstruck.com/michael-slepian-the-secret-life-of-secrets/ --► Subscribe to My Channel Here: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles --► Subscribe to the podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/passion-struck-with-john-r-miles/id1553279283 *Our Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/passionstruck. Thank you for listening to this podcast. I hope you keep up with the weekly videos I post on the YouTube channel, subscribe to, and share your learnings with those who need to hear them. Your comments are my oxygen, so please take a second and say 'Hey' ;). What I discuss with Michael Slepian 0:00 Announcements 2:23 Introducing Michael Slepian 3:59 Family secrets 7:53 What is the definition of a secret? 9:03 How is secrecy different from privacy? 10:54 The 38 categories of secrets that people keep 13:43 The secrets of Tony Soprano and Edward Snowden 16:10 How does the concealing of secrets impact well-being? 20:26 How a chimpanzee helps illustrate the birth of secrets 28:27 Advice for how to handle secrecy with your kids 31:12 Groundbreaking hill slant research on secrets 35:23 Importance of doing secrecy research outside of a lab 43:51 Why does keeping a secret have the potential to do more harm than good? 46:10 Why do some secrets hurt while others do not? 48:15 Why do people fall into this unhelpful, negative thinking? 51:12 How does secrecy impact us accepting ourselves? 52:53 How to deflect direct questions in a conversation about a secret 1:00:27 Wrap Up and Synthesis In this episode, Michael Slepian joins us to discuss his new book, The Secret Life of Secrets, where he gives a masterclass on the psychology of secrets. Drawing on over a decade of original research, Slepian reveals the surprising ways secrets permeate our lives and offers science-based strategies that make them easier to live with. The result is a rare window into the inner workings of our minds, our relationships, and our sense of who we are. We discuss why Michael has spent the past decade studying the psychology of secrets. He reveals his research involving over 50,000 participants from around the world on why we keep the secrets we keep—most commonly addiction, infidelity, mental health struggles, romance, and financial hardship. We discuss the psychology behind secrets, how they affect us, and how to better understand and cope with them. Through the secrets you carry, you discover a hidden self, and so much more. Where you can find Michael Slepian: * Website: https://michaelslepian.com/ * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelslepian/ * Columbia University: http://www.columbia.edu/~ms4992/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/michaelslepian Links * My interview with Tricia Manning: https://passionstruck.com/tricia-manning-on-how-to-lead-with-heart/ * My interview with Sarah Fay: https://passionstruck.com/sarah-fay-pathological/ * My interview with Admiral James Stavridis: https://pas

Transcript

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0:00.0	Coming up next on the Passion Struck Podcast.
0:03.2	If there's a secret that's upsetting you or that's bothering you,
0:07.2	you don't have to reveal it to the people or person you're keeping it from.
0:11.4	But you do want to talk about it with the third party,
0:14.6	whether it's someone face to face over the phone, over the internet.
0:19.9	Another person can give you something that you could just not find on your own.
0:24.4	Other people think differently than you do.
0:26.8	And that proves so helpful. Just a simple conversation.
0:30.5	A single conversation can make a whole different.
0:33.8	Welcome to Passion Struck.
0:35.2	Hi, I'm your host, John Armeils.
0:37.1	And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people
0:43.3	and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you.
0:48.0	Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality
0:52.4	so that you can become the best version of yourself.
0:55.4	If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays.
1:00.6	We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors,
1:06.5	CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders,
1:11.2	visionaries, and athletes.
1:13.0	Now, let's go out there and become Passion Struck.
1:16.4	Hello, everyone, and welcome back to episode 146 of Passion Struck,
1:20.9	one of the top health and fitness podcasts in the world.
	...

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