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100% Eat

Michael Jones: Ultimate Hero - Dairy Queen Ride Along

100% Eat

Striking Distance LLC

Comedy, Arts, Society & Culture, Food

53.4K Ratings

🗓️ 30 October 2025

⏱️ 18 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Our Heroes somehow got unstuck from the floor and escaped the workers only to lament the disaster of not getting the food but what surprise does Michael have in store for everyone? You don't want to miss it, unless you're a Manor ISD student then DO NOT ENTER! Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

That was fun.

0:01.0

Eric, Eric is at the time of life.

0:03.0

Get me away from the stereo.

0:05.0

Let's go through the drive-through. I don't want to be- Let's pay 75 cents for those sauces. I don't want to be friends with that guy. He wants to be friends with you. God, I'm down. Damn. He was like, get room in the Trump. Eric's been in a mood today. Hey, we don't have those. Yeah, so we went far as fuck. We finally for once left Austin. Yeah. Which is crazy because it's not that far east. No, no, it's just on the other. Sometimes we drive 38 minutes northwest. It's still Austin, which is bullshit. We're just on the edge of Cedar Park. It's just like, okay, dude, there's no way this is Austin.

0:39.9

Like we're in a, we're in a town called, not Austin. We're in a town called Manor. They've been building up a lot of stuff out here. And it's pronounced Manor. I don't know why it's not Manor. Manor. Yeah, that's probably named after some guy. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

0:52.0

So this is our first one.

0:54.1

We're like, oh, hey, let's go to a different dairy queen.

0:57.5

So we went to a different Dairy Queen. The sign was there. Yeah. The Dairy Queen sign. The sign for the sweet, chili chicken strips. Boom. It's on the rotation. Boom. Hey, get those. Lock it in. We don't have that. Oh. We only have the

1:12.6

spicy and the regular. There's especially funny the way he said it where it's like, oh. I thought I told you. Hey, you fucking moron. Did you not know that? Oh. Did you not get my news on it? Oh, we don't have that. Hey, I'm not, I don't work here.

1:26.0

Oh, you must be little baby gum gum.

1:29.0

Sorry, little baby gum gum, we don't have that. Hey, I'm not, I don't work here. Oh, you must be little baby gum gum.

1:28.9

Sorry, little baby gum gum. We know I have chili. Oh. During that whole thing, I just kept looking at Michael and he kept looking up and down. Staring in Eric. Are you a mainer ISD student, you fucking moron?

1:41.8

Not welcome here between four to eight or something. Get out. Get out. You know what this means? It means no mainer ISD students are welcome. There's like a I know you can't read. There's like a laminated sheet of paper printed out that's like no main or ISD students unaccompanied or some shit between 8 a.mm. to 4 p.m. Right. And so it's like, okay, you don't want school kids fucking around. Yeah. It's not that close to the school. It's not. That there's a highway. There's a highway. There's a highway. You'd have to drive over there. Well, I mean, look at all the crosswalks. But also, it's just so weird to not stay children or students.

2:21.1

Right. drive over there. Well, I mean, look at all the crosswalks. But also, it's just so weird to not stay children or students.

2:21.1

Right.

2:21.9

If you're from Austin, ISD, come fuck this place up.

2:27.3

Right.

2:28.0

Are they, like, are they scanning the school IDs?

2:32.6

Yeah, right?

2:33.4

Biometrics.

3:08.3

We have you in the system, kid. Facial recognition. They're opening apartments over here? No steak bites for you. What is this? I can't read. Discount tire? Discount tire! Discount tire! Oh! Discount tire! Planet Fitness, Burlington! Home Depot! Buy a co? Home Depot's already open. Oh, it's open? Yeah, they... Ufku! Oh, they got Ufku! The HVEB opens tomorrow. HV opens tomorrow. There's a grand opening tomorrow. Chipotle, Chilay, Chick-fil-A. They got it all. Yeah. Wow, this place is rocking. Cut all the seas.

3:09.3

Don't they know Austin is right there? Look, Nick. Look at the Waffle House. What is that logo? What is that logo? That must be a new one. I'm upset. Oh, God, I missed it. Yeah. Look how tiny it is. What's that logo? What were you filming?

...

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