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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

MFP 376: Raising Kids Without Raising Your Voice

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Mike and Alicia Hernon : Catholic Marriage Parent and Family

Parenting, Religion & Spirituality, Christianity, Kids & Family

4.9841 Ratings

🗓️ 6 April 2026

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The most effective parents aren't the loudest—they're the most consistent.

Summary

Why do we yell at our kids, even when we know it doesn't work? In this episode, we unpack the hard truth behind yelling in parenting: it's often not a discipline strategy, but a reaction to stress, frustration, and lack of follow-through. While it may get quick results, it slowly weakens our authority and damages connection with our kids.  We talk about why yelling becomes a habit, what it's actually teaching our children, and how to replace it with calmer, more effective discipline. You'll walk away with simple, practical strategies to respond with intention instead of reaction, and build a home where your voice doesn't have to get louder to be heard.  This is a re-release of "Yelling, the Lazy Approach to Parenting".

Key Takeaways

  • Pause before reacting to your child.  Take a breath and step away if needed. 

  • Get physically close.  Instead of yelling across the house, get up and go to them and make eye contact.  

  • Use fewer words, but use them clearly.  Short instructions are better than long, angry diatribes. 

  • Follow through consistently.  Sometimes kids don't listen the first time because you never made clear that is what you expect. 

  • Address your own triggers. Notice when you tend to yell and plan ahead for those moments. 

  • Make sure to repair the relationship when you mess up.  When we apologize we model humility and it can actually strengthen your relationship.  

Couple Discussion Questions

  • When are we most likely to yell at our kids? (Time of day, situation, stress level)

  • How does yelling affect our relationship with them long-term?

  • What would change in our home if the kids listened to us without raising our voices?

Transcript

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0:00.0

Family, all in this together.

0:08.2

Family, we're taking a chance.

0:10.8

Family, like birds of a feather.

0:13.3

Family, you got my shoes and dance.

0:15.4

Hey, we are Mike and Alicia Hernin.

0:17.4

We have 10 kids and grandkids too, and we are here for every parent.

0:21.4

Because we are on a mission to empower moms and dads to embrace their sacred calling. So join the

0:26.0

conversation.

0:27.9

Family, we're taking a chance.

0:31.9

Welcome to the podcast. We're so glad that you joined us today. We are, at least when this is being released, we're in the Easter season. So happy Easter. Happy Easter. Happy Easter season. This was actually a pretty good Lent. Yeah. This is a good Lent? Yeah. I don't know. It's funny enough that there was, there were, when we do Canaan 90, it actually reminds me more of Lent than if I did it on my own. So, so thank you

0:56.4

for those who joined us for Canaan 90. And the beauty of Canaan 90 is it doesn't just end with

1:02.0

Lent. That's right. It continues on throughout the entire Easter season. But it is a, I love Easter.

1:09.0

And I think that we oftentimes feel the, um, the challenges and the fasting that come with

1:16.9

Lent.

1:17.6

And then it's like Easter is a day.

1:20.2

And we're done.

1:21.6

And that's not true.

1:22.4

And that's not true.

1:23.4

And, you know, as Catholics, we need to party.

1:25.6

We need to celebrate.

1:26.4

Right.

1:26.8

We need to experience the joy, particularly that is natural and inherent in family life.

...

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