MFP 343: How to Love Your Family

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Mike and Alicia Hernon : Catholic Marriage Parent and Family

Parenting, Religion & Spirituality, Christianity, Kids & Family

4.9 • 841 Ratings

🗓️ 28 July 2025

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

"The two great commandments name the three loves – loving God, loving neighbor, and loving yourself. All three loves are necessary and central to our Faith. All three." - Dr. Peter Malinoski

Summary

How can I learn to truly love my family? The reality is that the degree to which you love yourself will be the maximum that you can love your family. Ordered self-love is not an optional thing – it's essential. This is especially true for spouses and parents because their love is tied intimately to the full flourishing of others, namely, their children! We are made in God's image and likeness, which means that, like the Trinity, we are constantly in relationship with others and even with ourselves. Learning to love ourselves directly affects how well we can love others. Listen in for advice from Dr. Peter Malinoski, Catholic psychologist and teacher in the field of therapy using Internal Family Systems. This podcast is essential to learn how to love your spouse and children well, by first learning to love yourself.

Key Takeaways

We are made in the image and likeness of God, which means that like the Trinity, we have the capacity for relationship within ourselves.
The primary human relationship that we have is with ourselves, then others.
90% of conflicts with your spouse are a reaction to unresolved issues from the past, not what is happening in the present.
The "innermost self" is the core of the person, who we really are. Our "parts" are small personalities inside of us who battle within us.

Couple Discussion Questions

How can you begin to see each other the way that God sees you?
Think about a conflict you had recently. Ask your spouse, "Tell be about why you felt the way you did." and be open to learning more.

Resources

To find a therapist: www.soulsandhearts.com/therapists
Interior Integration for Catholics podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/interior-integration-for-catholics/id1503898046

Epidode 157 to 159 for an overview of IFS

To learn more: https://www.soulsandhearts.com/

Transcript

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0:00.0	Family, all in this together.
0:08.2	Family, we're taking a chance.
0:10.8	Family, like birds of a feather.
0:13.3	Family, get off my shoes and dance.
0:15.4	Hey, we are Mike and Alicia Hernin.
0:17.4	We have 10 kids and grandkids too, and we are here for every parent.
0:21.4	Because we are on a mission to empower moms and dads to embrace their sacred calling.
0:25.6	So join the conversation.
0:31.6	Hey, thanks for joining us on today's podcast.
0:34.6	We are glad you're here.
0:36.7	This is an interview that I think will cover a lot of topics and fill in some gaps,
0:44.0	particularly as we look at our marriage and how what we can bring, if you will,
0:50.8	how we can improve and strengthen our marriage.
0:53.9	I'm just excited because I've been starting to follow Peter's work and the whole idea
0:59.8	of the parts that are within us and that we are a reflection of the Trinity when the Trinity
1:06.2	is basically in relationship and that we're in relationship with ourselves. And we have to learn how to do that to effectively be in relationship and that we're in relationship with ourselves.
1:11.8	And we have to learn how to do that to effectively be in relationship with other people.
1:15.8	Anyway, so this is something on a personal level that we've been kind of like going into
1:19.6	and thinking about.
1:20.8	Right.
1:21.0	I'm praying about.
1:21.9	And so we are excited to really excited to share with you this interview with Peter
	...

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