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So the patterns that govern our

attachment schema as they're called and they're set very early in life.

Longitudinal studies show that the strange test for infants, which is where a mother brings an infant into a room with a stranger.

The mother then leaves the room after introducing their child to the stranger and the way the child

responds the one-and-a-half-year-old, you can determine that child's attachment style and if you then find that

infant a fully grown adult some 25 years later and you give that adult, the adult attachment interview,

they will with 75 to 80 percent of the

patterns that we tend to have the events that create the patterns that we tend to repeat

and relationships are inculcated very, very, very young in life.

The actual events that between you and your caregivers and the adults that were around you that

influence how the people you're attracted to, your expectations and

relationships and how you react started well before you had any

conscious ability to develop lasting conscious memories but you develop

...