Men vs. Consequences w. Kathy Griffin
Hysteria
Hysteria
4.7 • 7.1K Ratings
🗓️ 16 April 2026
⏱️ 90 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Alyssa and Erin break down the sexual misconduct allegations against Representative Eric Swalwell and JD Vance’s latest flops. Then Kathy Griffin stops by to chat about hosting the perfect salon, dealing with straight white guy menaces, and her life on the D-list. They wrap up with a petty conversation about the New York Times puff piece on Lauren Sanchez Bezos.
For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.
Exclusive: Four women describe sexual misconduct by Rep. Eric Swalwell, including a former staffer who says he raped her (CNN 4/10)
Vance’s bad week: vice-president risks becoming face of two Trump foreign policy failures (The Guardian 4/13)
The ever-shrinking JD Vance (The Financial Times 4/14)
‘This is not serious leadership’: Donald Trump and Marco Rubio watch UFC in Miami as Iran talks fail (The Guardian 4/12)
Someone Has to Be Happy. Why Not Lauren Sánchez Bezos? (NYT 4/11)
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to Hysteria. I'm Erin Ryan. |
| 0:09.8 | And I'm Alyssa, we've got some Texas news. |
| 0:14.2 | Texas is extremely untrustworthy AG. Ken Paxton is trying to court the Make America Healthy Again vote by launching an investigation into |
| 0:23.9 | forever chemicals contained in which of the following. Sorry to start with a quiz, but I'm starting |
| 0:28.3 | with a quiz. Okay. Is he looking to combat Phaas in drinking water? A. Uh-huh. B, tampons |
| 0:36.2 | and other menstrual products. |
| 0:39.4 | C. Elementary School playground dirt or D. Yoga pants. |
| 0:42.0 | This is a tough one. |
| 0:45.9 | Is it yoga pants? |
| 0:47.2 | Yes, it is yoga pants. |
| 0:48.8 | He does not care about the water. |
| 0:50.6 | He does not care about the soil or the tampons. |
| 0:53.4 | Just the yoga pants. He is going for the |
| 0:55.3 | Fort Worth Pilates mom vote. Stop it. It is so funny because it's such a naked grasp for |
| 1:02.7 | female votes when he is like famously a philanderer who like is getting divorced. Tampons and other |
| 1:07.9 | menstrual products would be great to know that they're Pha free. Right. I don't know if they have them in it, but he's not curious. He only cares about the Lulu-Lemmon, Lul-Lum yoga pants specifically, but not the water. And people luckily in Texas... The drinking water was a trick, though, for me. Drinking water. I was like, wait, wait. What is he really... If he's looking for Phaas in the water, like, what's he really looking for? Right. You know what I mean? No, he's so suss. He's so suss, and he is in a contentious battle for the GOP nomination to run for Senate, as I hope he wins so that he can face someone who I think will defeat him on the Democratic side. |
| 1:44.6 | But yeah, he is really making like an overt play for the Maha vote by being like the yoga |
| 1:49.2 | pants. That's where we got to start. Ladies, I've got you at the yoga pants. I'm cool. |
| 1:55.0 | And with it, I love ladies. Don't forget that I cheated on my wife and she left me. Forget that. |
| 2:00.4 | She hated yoga pants. so it's fine. |
| 2:02.7 | Today, we are going to talk about J.D. Vance's flopchella. |
| 2:07.2 | The sexual misconduct allegations against now former congressman, Eric Swalwell. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Hysteria, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Hysteria and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.