Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Just leave your room keys at the door.

Happy Thursday, everyone.

So on a recent podcast, former First Lady Michelle Obama complained about the time Ellen DeGeneres challenged her to a push-up contest.

Michelle found it oddly uncomfortable since Ellen insisted on laying underneath her because she's a lesbian.

Speaking of, Michelle also admitted on the podcast that she fights with her husband over the

thermostat.

She wants it at 70 degrees while he wants it up his butt.

According to a new book,

Joe Biden brought in famed director Stephen Spielberg to help with his campaign.

They called the operation Saving Dian Biden.

According to the same book, Kamala Harris's campaign team held a fake cocktail party without alcohol,

so she could work on her social skills

without a drink in her hand. But she showed them and brought her trusty beer helmet.

Good for her. Don't let him change you, Kamala. While arguing about a deported illegal criminal,

Eric Swalwell warned Christy Knoem that he has a B.

Detector, which he obviously hadn't purchased

until after he banged that Chinese spy.

Speaking of, according to a new report, Chinese spies have infiltrated Stanford University.

This became very apparent when all the graduation gowns showed up neatly folded and pressed.

...