The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

Hi everybody, welcome to my brother and me. What's the matter?

I show or something. Well, look at the calendar. Yeah.

You see, if you look at the my brother and my brother meet calendar, you see how

Sunday, February 26 was like circled and there's a smiley face. You see, I put like a bunch of

happy face stickers on it and stuff. You drew three people sitting on a couch and they're

eating popcorn and laughing and jesting with you. That was us watching the Oscars and it was great.

Crystal was just so funny and such a munch. Billy Cuddup was in rare form. Billy Zane was pretty awesome.

Billy O'Connelly was Irish and Billy D Williams was there. I got POD.

Yeah, I got post-docs career depression. It's a clinical thing. It's a real disorder and I'm living

with it. I'm not dying from it. The symptoms include just the sorrow that comes from knowing that

you're just you're just not going to see Billy Crystal again for another four or five years.

I mean, at best. Adjusting can't use self-medicate by watching the Saga Awards and the Golden Globes

and the Grammys and the Kids Choice Awards and City Slickers and City Slickers too.

That's like, it's like going to the methadone clinic though. It's good. It's definitely a way

towards healing. But I don't want to kick this addiction. I just want to, there are no after effects.

There are no side effects of this addiction to glamour, this addiction to suspense, the anticipation,

the drama, the pomp, the circumstance, the tradition, to say nothing of the

gowns. You can do what I do, Justin. What's that? Live every day like it's a red carpet show.

...